I was without internet for two years. Two. Long. Years. To some, this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when all of your hobbies, friends, and the majority of your life exist solely on the internet, suddenly being without it is somewhat devastating. I really don’t care if you find that pathetic, that’s just how my life was.
After my ex of four years and I parted ways, I was broken, and broke. Even working full-time at my job at the time, I could barely afford rent and bills on my own, let alone luxuries. I felt completely cut off. During those two years, I was also without a phone, so I had zero contact with my friends or family. Or work. It was awful. But I’m back now. As great as it is having the internet back (I missed you, Netflix!), I feel like the last couple months have been a horrible game of trying to catch up with the world… movies, music, TV, games. I’d been so out of the loop for all long that it’s almost overwhelming now that I’m back.
Listen to me, sounding like I was held captive in a bunker or something for 15 years. Ugh. This is a little pathetic.
Anyway, I got my internet back a few weeks before my son was born in January. I decided that if I didn’t have SOMETHING to keep me sane during my maternity leave, even if it was just Netflix, I would snap. Besides, my fiance and I were both making more than enough to make ends meet, so why not? Despite my excitement, I told myself I wasn’t going to jump into my old online life, not that I didn’t want to, I just couldn’t. Everything was different. My old friends had moved on from me. My podcast was old news. No one knew who I was anymore. I felt replaced and depressed. There could be no big comeback. What was I even coming back to? I was never really a somebody, but more than ever, I felt like a nobody.
Despite my better judgement, I reinstalled WoW on my computer and reactivated my account. I guess deep down I knew I would. I decided to lay low. I had missed out on a good chunk Mists of Pandaria, as well as the launch of Warlords of Draenor, and everything felt overwhelming. There were people bragging about their 4th or 5th level 100, and their level 3 garrisons, and raiding whatever they were raiding… and here I was, logging in and standing in the middle of my FARM. Everything in my bags and bank, everything I was farming when before I was forced to quit, now completely useless.
On top of that, there are new games? Hearthstone? Heroes of the Storm? WTF is that?
Class changes, mounts and battle pets, raids. So much to learn. I rejoined good old AIE on my hunter, whom I had resumed playing as my main, but let my priest stand idly by. She’s still only level 90, despite the fact that my hunter has been 100 for over a month. I also recently transferred my level 70 shaman to Earthen Ring and began playing her again after five years of letting her sit unused on my old, old, OLD server. My first server. She was my first main. She is now level 98 and I’m having SO much fun playing her as elemental.
Balancing gaming and a newborn has been tough. I already knew raiding was completely off the table for me, but I’ve been surprised at just how little I’ve been able to do while home alone with my son. No PvP, no raiding, no instances at all… at least, I can’t do any of those things WELL. I spend the majority of my time in WoW doing activities that don’t require me to play with both hands, e.g. maxing Archaeology and fishing, doing my Apexis dailies, putting together killer transmog sets, farming mats, farming raid pets, etc. Even still, with him being a little over two months old, it’s been difficult to find things I can do to keep me interested in the game with him in my lap.
Thank god LFR is such a breeze that I can do it with one hand on my hunter. She actually has a pretty respectable gear score, for being on a raid team.
And please, don’t even get me started on rebooting Something Suggestive (for those of you who didn’t know me before this year, I ran a podcast for a while). Sorry to disappoint… whoever is even left to be disappointed, but it’s not going to happen. My podcast is dead. Sorry.
So, as glad as I am to be back, it has been hard for me as well. I’m enjoying myself and adjusting pretty well, but I still get overwhelmed and upset from time to time. But I guess I have plenty of time to play now that I’m a SAHM, right? I’ve also met a lot of really great people lately who have helped me more than they know. So thanks, new friends!
Woah. This post was much more depressing than intended… sorry. Thanks for reading! More to come later.