Kyle and I were about to start our vacation in London. We had just gotten out of the back of a cab, when Kyle’s phone rang, and we were informed that our hotel had a gas leak, and that we could not stay there. Frustrated, we dragged our luggage into a small cafe across the street, and tried to figure out our next move. We were sitting at our table, scrolling through hotel listings on our phones, when a man approached us. I looked up, and there, standing by our table, was Felix Kjellberg… or PewDiePie, as you may also know him as.
Felix said that he overheard what we were talking about, and told us that we could stay with him and his girlfriend, Marzia, if we wanted. I immediately gushed that I was a huge fan of his, but did not want to impose on their lives. He insisted, and we agreed, and that was that. He helped us load out suitcases into his car, and drove us to his home.
Once inside, he showed us to a large living room, and opened up a king-size pull-out couch, telling us that is was ours for as long as we needed. I assured him that we would only be there until we could find a new hotel. He smiled, and retreated to his room for the night.
Kyle and I sat on the pull-out couch, and continued to bury our faces in our phones, when there was a knock at the door. We looked at each other, unsure if we should answer it or not, but before we could decide, a man burst through the door, stormed through the room, straight past us, and pounded on Felix’s bedroom door. Did I mention he was completely naked? Well, he was completely naked.
Felix opened the door, with Marzia standing right behind him, and neither of them seemed phased in the slightest by the naked, angry man standing in front of them. Felix and the man began arguing in another language, and after several minutes, the man stomped past us again, and left. Felix looked up at us, staring at him from our pull-out couch, shook his head, and mouthed “Sorry” before returning to his room.
It was morning, and Marzia was asking me if I wanted to be in a video with her, where she demonstrated “the power of makeup“, which is a popular trend on YouTube. I hesitantly agreed, slightly insulted, and watched her leave the room to retrieve her beauty supplies. She returned, and there was a knock at the door. She answered it, and escorted a young man into the room. She told me that he was a friend, and that she would be doing his makeup as well, to see who she could make look “prettier“. This hurt my feelings, and I ran outside, and immediately called Kyle, who was out somewhere. He did not answer, and I began walking down the sidewalk, away from the house.
I walked all the way back to the cafe where we had met Felix, and kept texting Kyle, asking him to meet me there. After a while, Kyle walked in with Felix, and Felix apologized if Marzia hurt my feelings, saying that she did not mean to. I shrugged it off, and told him that Kyle and I would be leaving his house, but that we were thankful for his hospitality. He looked sad, but nodded. Kyle seemed upset with me, and did not say a word the entire ride back to the house. We gathered up our stuff, and left. He told me that he had not been able to find a hotel yet, because he spent the morning hanging out with Felix, and that we still had no way to go. I shrugged, and told him we would find a place.
We did not call a taxi, instead, we walked back to the same cafe that we had just left. A barista asked us if we wanted anything, and she seemed very flirty with Kyle, which irked me a bit, but we told her we did not want anything, which did not make her happy. She went back to the country, and glared at us, while we looked online for a hotel. Kyle’s phone started ringing, but he told me he didn’t want to answer it.
And then I woke up.
My Life as Jan 