Kyle, Liam, and I were driving on a winding road, through a rural, wooded area, trying to find a house that we were supposed to be looking at, to potentially buy. I had a large road map in my hands, and kept turning it around, trying to figure out where we were. I told Kyle that the man I talked to had said that the house was just outside of Chicago, but we were at least an hour from Chicago, and in the middle of the woods. Finally, the road stopped at a single cabin-style house, and we got out. The address on the house was right, but everything else was so, so wrong.
The front door was wide open, because there was no door, and the house had no windows in place, just large, square holes. We stepped into the house, expecting to be greeted, but it was mostly empty and bare, aside from hundreds of expensive baby toys that were neatly organized throughout the kitchen and living room. We found a back door, which was just another door-shaped hole in the wall, and jumped down into the back yard… since there were no steps.
Kyle commented that the back yard was nice, and I rolled my eyes and told him that there was no way in hell that we were living here. We continued through the back yard, looking for the man who was supposed to be meeting us, and we found an area filled with massive trees. Each tree had a large hole dug into the trunk, with a gate over it. As we moved closer, we heard loud, vicious barking, and suddenly, there were wolf-sized dogs throwing themselves at the gates, frantically trying to get to us. We screamed and ran back to the house.
Once we got back to the house, we found a man standing at the back “door“, dressed in work boots and jean cutoffs. The laughed, and asked us if we had met his dogs. We laughed nervously, and introduced ourselves, but he never told us his name. I asked him why he lied about his house listing. The location was wrong, the house style was wrong, as was everything about it. He just laughed and said he didn’t know anything about a house listing.
Kyle and I told him we should probably get going at that point, but he stopped us, and said he wanted to show us a trick. He pointed to Liam, and told us he had “a ton of kids“, and that they loved the trick. He whistled shrilly, and we waited in awkward silence, wondering what he was up to. Suddenly, a large, white snake came slithering toward us through the grass. The snake’s belly was lime green, and I commented that I had never seen anything like it. He smiled, picked up the snake, and told her to give me a kiss. It moved its head towards me, and kissed my cheek with its forked tongue. I asked if I could hold her, and as I did, she changed colors, kind of like a mood ring. The white on her body started turning into milky greens and blues, and I was amazed.
The man took back the snake, told us how to get back to the main road, and we walked back through the house. The amount of baby and toddler toys seemed to have doubled since we last walked through, but we quickly rushed through the rooms, and back out to our car. The man watched us from the doorway, and waved as we backed out. I picked up the map, and realized that my hands were shaking. I dropped the map, and looked out the window, frustrated.
That’s the last thing I remember.
I was in a large supermarket, in the produce section, and all of the fruits and vegetables were gone. Completely gone. There was a single head of cauliflower, some tomatoes, a few cucumbers, and scraps from unknown plants scattered across the large, open area, with no rhyme or reason. I found an employee, and asked him where everything was, and he angrily told me that I “must be new here“, before shoving past me. Shocked, I looked around, and saw other customers digging through the scraps of “food“, trying to find anything to salvage. No one seemed bothered.
I found a man who looked like he could be a manager, and told him I was confused. I told him about the employee, and complained about the lack of produce, and he just laughed in my face, before walking off. Frustrated, I threw my basket, and everyone turned to stare at me. A woman came up to me, holding a basket full of tomatoes, and asked me if I wanted one. I said yes, and thanked her, as she handed me one of her tomatoes. Everyone kept staring as I walked out of the produce section, toward the other end of the store.
There was a young man handing out free samples of some kind of meat on a stick, and he handed one out to me as I passed. I took it, but kept it in my hand as I walked. I was walking toward the cereal aisle…
And then I woke up.