I’m trying not to get lazy. It’s only been a week since I started going to the gym, and I am already feeling like I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know if it’s my hormones talking, or if all the stress from my life is starting to get to me, or if my lovely storm cloud of depression is creeping back over me, but I feel like it’s getting harder. I don’t really know what I’m doing.
Yikes, this is a pretty stark contract from yesterday’s post, huh?
I can’t afford personal training. Not only that, I can’t even afford a membership. After my 30 days are up, I have no idea what to do. None. There’s a lot going on in my life that just keeps getting in the way of things I want to do, and I am starting to feel defeated.
I feel like I go in the gym, and do the same thing every day. Lately, I’ve been trying to look up new exercises, but there’s only so much you can get from a picture of some physically fit person, and a brief, somewhat vague explanation of how to do said exercise. I don’t know what I should be doing.
I didn’t get a good workout in today, for a whole slew of different reasons. I feel really disappointed in myself, because I feel like for this being something that I want so badly, I should be working harder, right?
I don’t know. Probably.
So, I did 15 minutes on the treadmill, some standing side bends with some lightweight kettlebells, and 5 minutes on the row machine. That’s it.
I don’t even really have any excuses. I just feel like shit today, and have zero motivation. Could be hormones, could be that I’m a shitty person who gives up too easily. Who knows?
Anyway, I haven’t gotten any work done today, which is also making me feel like shit. I kind of want to go to bed and be done with this day, and hope that I feel better in the morning, and not hate myself as much.
I don’t know what else to say. Sorry for being a downer.
Be sure to check out more of my #gymblogs. I promise they’re not nearly as depressing and shitty as this one.