Hello, friends. I’m currently stressing out. So hard. As I’ve mentioned a couple times in past blogs, my mom is coming from Maine to visit us toward the end of July… which just so happens to be in exactly one week. There is still so much I need to get done, and so much I wish I was able to do, before she arrives. She won’t be staying with us for the week that she is down here (thank goodness, because THAT stress would probably kill me), and when she was down to visit us two years ago, we didn’t spend too much time at my apartment, but that doesn’t really make me feel any better about the current state of the apartment.
When she told us that she was planning a visit, some two or so months ago, I immediately started making lists of things I wanted to buy for the apartment, things we could do when she’s here, and things that needed to get done, in preparation. It is now one week away from the visit, and nothing has gotten done. Nothing.
I have no idea what our plans even are, because Kyle’s work schedule is still all over the place, and he’s trying to request days off, but they’re usually assholes about it, so I have no idea what we’ll be doing. I know she wants to go to Starved Rock and maybe go hiking, and I’d like to take her to the sunflower fields over there as well. She also wants to go to Chicago for a day, which I’m not thrilled about, because Chicago sucks, but I guess we can go be tourists for an afternoon. I’d like to go to the zoo though. That’d be fun.
A lot of the things I wanted to do in preparation for her visit were things like trying to stay on top of the dishes, and the laundry, and the chaos that is our living room, etc., but… well, it all piles up pretty quickly when you’re the only one who cares, and the only one doing it.
I really, really wanted to buy a dining room table and chairs, as well as a coffee table, an end table or two, and a new floor lamp, but none of that ended up happening, and probably won’t happen, because we’ve been living paycheck to paycheck, except not really, because we overdraw/come close to overdrawing before payday rolls around. It really, really sucks. Like, my apartment kind of looks like the apartment of someone who just moved out of their parents’ house, or maybe even a clean version of a crack den. I don’t know. I honestly hate it.
We’ve been using the same black fold-up card table for over five years now, and we only have two kitchen chairs, which are also folding chairs, one of which is broken. We don’t even sit at the table for meals, because since we don’t have much storage in the apartment, in any form, there’s just stuff all over the table, and not enough chairs for us anyway. Our coffee table is a broken, wobbly piece of junk from Dollar General, which we’ve had for probably four years now, and it is literally only held together my wooden screws and dreams. We only have one floor lamp, which leans no matter what you do to it, and since that’s the only light source in the living room, when the sun does down, it is dim and miserable in here. We also only have one place for people to sit, and that’s on the couch. We have no other chairs (aside from my computer chair which is ALSO BROKEN).
I also wanted to maybe buy something, anything really, that could be used as storage. A coffee table with a shelf, or a spot to put some baskets, or maybe a cheap bookshelf, or end tables with drawers, or one of those cube organizer things… nope. Not that we have any room for it anyway, but still, my apartment is chaos, and it’s so stressful.
My apartment isn’t dirty, or messy, it’s just… well, we have a three year old son, and all the toys that aren’t in his room are in the living room, and he’s accumulated a lot from the family over just the last year or two. He has more stuff in the living room than we do, and he plays with ALL OF IT on a daily basis, which makes cleaning a whole ordeal.
Mom problems. The worst.
So, we can’t buy any of the furniture or organizational things that I want, but there is a lot of other stuff I need to get done this week. I have to clean out all the useless junk from the hallway and bedroom closets to make room for the crap that’s been accumulating in our rooms and the laundry room over the last year, so that we have room for things that should probably have a place. I also have to shampoo our living room carpet at some point, because while it’s not actually that bad, it’s definitely seen better days. Just this week my son spilled an entire Danimals yogurt drink in the living room, and yogurt has got to be one of the most obnoxious substances to try and get out of a carpet. It’s just so… slimy… ugh.
I also need to overhaul my desk and get it all organized again, go through and reorganize all of Liam’s toys, which are probably due for another purge pretty soon, and rehang a bunch of stuff on the wall, which requires some Command hooks, that I of course can not afford.
It’s a mess. Everything is a mess. I hate it.
OH. AND. BEFORE I FORGET. My mom messaged me on Facebook this morning to inform me that not only is she coming to visit, but that at some point during her stay, my grandfather (her dad) and one of my aunts (her half-sister) are going to be driving from Oklahoma to here to pop in for a visit.
I haven’t seen my grandfather since I was Liam’s age. Probably closer to two years old. Aside from what little we’ve talked on Facebook the last three years, he’s a total stranger. And I’ve actually never met this aunt. My mom hasn’t seen her since she was younger either, so… this should be interesting. My mom was all happy and emotional when she told me, so I played it off like it was cool, and I was happy that they were coming down, but HOLY SHIT, CAN YOU NOT DO THIS TO ME, PLEASE? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am happy to see/meet them, as it’s been a long time coming, but… as if I wasn’t feeling stressed and anxious enough as it is!
So, that’s the update on that. I’ve been making lists of things to do that I know will never get done, and trying not to rip my hair out over all the stress (I’ve also been really working on potty training my kiddo, and it’s going horribly, so that’s been great). It just started storming outside, so I am going to try and wrap this up quickly.
Yesterday, it was my gym manager’s last day. I keep calling him that, but really, he’s also my friend, and I’m going to miss him. We had some good chats. I’m actually really sad about it all, but this is what’s best for him and his situation, and he was in a good mood about it, so I’m trying not to act like a mopey, pathetic teenager. It just sucks, because he was honestly the only person I’ve considered a friend in… probably four or five years. So we kind of sat around in his office for a few hours and just talked about random, stupid stuff with one of the trainers, and a few members, until it was time for him to leave for the last time. The gym definitely won’t be the same without him.
(So, if you’re reading this, Erik, know that you’re missed.)
Anyway, I’ve got a mountain of laundry to fold, so I should probably do that. I also have an article to write that’s due tomorrow, but I just can’t do it. I’m a mess.
Thanks for reading, friends. See ya.