Never Feed the Fucking Trolls

WARNING: Strong language.

Hello, friends. I have a general rule for myself when it comes to dealing with internet trolls: DO NOT interact with them. Don’t. Just don’t do it. Lately, I have been having a hard time abiding by this rule. With the current state of politics and the presidential race, as well as the women’s rights movement (International Women’s Day was just a few days ago), various LGBT rights movements, and other pro-equality movements going on, our nation has become a nation divided in the ugliest of ways. I am very upfront with my political and moral views, and most of you know than I am an Agnostic Atheist, who believes in equality for everyone. I am not only an LGBT ally, but also a Pansexual woman, and member of the community. I am also a feminist, and a Liberal. I don’t really care if you dislike me for those reasons, because your close-mindedness does not effect me, and I don’t want you in my life if you choose to judge me based on those facts. For just these reasons alone, I have been judged very critically by complete strangers who know absolutely nothing about me, and who throw wild generalizations at me, and that isn’t fair.

I have been called everything from a libtard, feminazi, fag lover, and so much more… all because I believe in basic, human rights and equality for everyone, which apparently, is an awful thing. Who knew?

For the last several days, I have been engaged in a handful of online comment wars, spanning across Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Sometimes, I am guilty of being a bit of an instigator, but more often than not, I simply voiced my appreciation on a topic. I am not a troll. I do not scour the web in search of things that I wholly disagree with with every fiber of my being, just to jump into the comment section and spew ignorance and hatred on the subject. I also rarely skim through comments in search of someone who supports said topic, just to call them names and trash their opinions. I don’t make a habit of fucking attacking people on a personal level just because I disagree with something they say on the internet.

Apparently, I am a minority when it comes to this sort of behavior, because people online are fucking assholes. Shocking, I know!

Recently, an LGBT/equality page that I follow on Facebook posted the following picture:

This graphic was posted on International Women’s Day, and while it did received a ton of praise from the LGBT community and its allies, it also received a lot of backlash from a lot of people who knew very little on the subject, and really had nothing of value to input other than “Fuck Caitlyn Jenner!” or “Until you’ve had a child you’re not REALLY a woman.”, both of which have nothing to do with what was said. The latter isn’t even a correct statement.

I posted the following two comments beneath the photo:

Both comments received more positive feedback than negative, but there were a few people that had apparently just had a bad day, and wanted to tear everyone on this page apart for no reason. There were even a few commenters that were clearly fake accounts, created for the sole purpose of trying to hurt other people who disagreed with their views. Others had nothing of value to say other than calling me ridiculous names, or paraphrasing the Bible in all caps, WHICH AS WE ALL KNOW MAKES YOU SOUND SO MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT.

Why? WHY? What could you possibly get out of doing something like that? You are about as unlikely to change my way of thinking as I am to change yours, and that’s why I don’t waste my fucking time.

On a day that was for celebrating ALL women, there were feminists who wanted nothing more than to point out how they felt that trans women weren’t women, and gave them no support at all. There were civil rights activists, and #BlackLivesMatter activists, talking about how trans people, as well as the LGBT community in general, did not deserve rights, let alone to be recognized in a holiday. This lead me into several, one-sided, heated “debates” (I can’t even really call them that, because only one side had anything logical to contribute) across all of my social media platforms, that I let get to me. I couldn’t stop.

I let these trolling, immature, ignorant, terrible people get to me. I broke my own rule. And boy, did it get me fired up.

How can people actually think like that? It is 2016! How can you still have so much hate in your heart that you think it is okay to hurt people like that? I’m not even a member of the trans community, but as a woman who has struggled with her sexual identity for many years, I can certainly tell you how hard it is to KNOW that you one thing, but have everyone around you tell you that you aren’t, for a whole list of bullshit reasons. What if you were black, and people told you that you weren’t black enough, because of your eye or hair color? Telling you that you weren’t what you KNEW you were, what you were meant to be, because you didn’t look like it on the outside? That would hurt. You would be stuck feeling like you don’t belong on either side of the tracks, and it would tear you apart.

No one deserves to feel that way.

There are people who use sources like the Bible to back up their behavior, thinking that they are doing their god’s work in tearing down and hurting these people, because they disagree with how they live their lives, and that is WRONG. But even more wrong are the people who have absolutely no reason to hate these people, and choose to anyway.

Hatred is a choice.
Sexuality, gender dysphoria, and race are not.

If you want equality for women, or African Americans, or Latinos, but not for your brothers and sisters in the LGBT community, then you want privilege. Not equality. Those are not the same thing.

PSA: Just because something is not YOUR problem, does not mean it is not an important problem for others.

I’m so done. Back to my happy place.

Jan

[Just now, as I finish writing this, I am reading the comments beneath Ingrid Nilsen’s latest video on public bathrooms and gender identity, and it is honestly making me want to scream and rip my hair out. I fucking hate people.]

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Daily Prompt 1/30/2016 | The Eighth Sin: Assholery

The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt 1/30/2016 | The Eighth Sin

“Remember the seven cardinal sins? You’re given the serious task of adding a new one to the list — another trait or behavior you find particularly unacceptable, for whatever reason. What’s sin #8 for you? Why?”

Now, it it should be noted that I’m an Agnostic Atheist… but I’m familiar with the seven cardinal sins. If it were up to be, I would do away with the first seven, and have just one. The simplest, yet most important of all the sins… Assholery. Thou shalt not be an asshole.

I’m sure that a few of the other sins may fall into the the realm of Assholery already, but like I said, we can do away with those entirely. Even people who preach purity and a sinless lifestyle sin on a daily basis, and they are outdated. So, I propose that you just don’t be an asshole. Just don’t. Why go out of your way to hurt, belittle, bully, or insult someone, when it is so much easier to just not do those things. Just live your life, and let others live theirs. Or better yet, try to actually be nice to people, which is the opposite of the sin of Assholery.

Here are just a few examples of Assholery that you should avoid:

1) When it has rained/snowed, and there are puddles on the side of the road, and you purposely drive through them to try and get another car and/or person wet, you’re being an asshole.
2) When someone that you aren’t talking to is having a conversation with someone else, and they casually bring up a person or topic that you don’t agree with, or have strong opinions on, and you loudly butt into their conversation, and proceed to shove your opinion down their throats, you’re being an asshole.
3) If you are at the store/fast food restaurant, and your cashier is struggling with your purchase/coupons/order, and you insult them, or get angry for no reason other than that it is taking a few extra seconds to get your items, you’re being an asshole.
4) When you are at the store, and the person in front of you is a) using WIC to pay for their baby food, b) using EBT/food stamps to pay for their food, c) counting out a lot of change to pay for their food, or d) writing a check to pay for their food, and instead of simply moving to a different line, or patiently waiting your turn, you start loudly complaining about their payment method to no one in particular, you’re being an asshole.

You get the idea. I can also say, from personal experience of having been the victim of someone’s Assholery, that if you are the asshole in any of these examples, especially the last one, you are just embarrassing yourself. No one agrees with you, you look like an ignorant fool, just shut up.

Don’t be an asshole, okay?
So it was written, so it shall be.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

[Happy 100th post to me!]

Daily Prompt 1/18/2016 | Beliefs

The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt | Reason to Believe

“In Reason to Believe, Bruce Springsteen sings, ‘At the end of every hard-earned day / people find some reason to believe.’ What’s your reason to believe?”

I’m an Agnostic Atheist… so, this is awkward.

I have no religious beliefs. I respect your beliefs, and even admire people who choose to believe in something higher than themselves, but I just can’t. At the end of the day, regardless of how your day went, there are so many people being murdered and abused, being kidnapped and sold, starving on the street. There is so much suffering in the world, and nothing is being done. No matter how many people pray to their respective gods and goddesses, nothing is being done. Every day, the world dies a little more, the humanity becomes more and more dangerous.

I choose not to believe. I choose not to believe in any deity that would give babies cancer, and allow men to hurt women, and control them for their own gain. I choose not to believe in a religion, or a deity, that would condemn two people to death simply for loving each other. A deity that would punish people, for not believing in them, for whatever reason, by killing thousands of innocent people with hurricanes and tornadoes. Not that I believe that any of these things are caused by a god, but if they were… why would they do that? It’s cruel, and terrible, and unnecessary. I would not put my faith in someone who caused that kind of pain.

My grandmother, who is very religious, once told me that anyone who does not accept God into their lives will never have a life of happiness or meaning, and will always be an empty shell. That is just an awful, hurtful thing to say to anybody, especially someone you love, just because they do not share your beliefs. How can you possibly feel that way? I’ve also heard her say vile things about babies and children, whose parents chose not to get them baptized. A baby.

Let’s not forget that religious strife has caused countless deaths since… ever? It still does today! People justify murder and brutality because a book says that two men being together is icky? So you should kill them? Or that a woman’s opinions, feelings, and rights don’t matter, because she would once have been considered property? Some men still consider women property. That is not right.

No. I choose to believe that we carve our own path, and that our actions are our own, and that we should be held accountable for them. I don’t need any sort of belief, or fear of damnation, to be a good person, and do good things. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I just think people should respect and look out for each other, and that you probably shouldn’t go around causing harm for no reason. I don’t need a book to tell me what is right and wrong. We are all stuck on this planet together, at least for the time being, and we are all human. We all deserve love, respect, and freedom to be who we were born to be, without fear of persecution or death. If you need to seek answers in a high power, and if that gives you comfort, then by all means, live your life.

But for me, I choose to believe in myself, and my ability to determine right and wrong. I choose love over hate, and acceptance over discrimination. And I will not let anyone change that. Now… do I know for certain that Zeus, Hades, Osiris, Odin, etc. do not/did not exist? No, I do not. But is there tangible proof that they did/do. No.

This is why, at the end of the day, I choose not to believe. If my son grows up and has questions about religion, or wants to attend the church of his choosing, then I won’t stop him. But I also won’t lie to him. I feel that people should be free to choose who, or what, they want to put their faith in, without fear of judgement. I have friends and loved ones who have devoted their lives to their religions, and they are amazing, fulfilled people. I have friends who share my beliefs (or lack of), and are just as happy and fulfilled. I also know devout individuals who are completely miserable, and vice versa.

Be who you are, live fearlessly, and strive for happiness. Just… don’t kill people, okay? Be nice. Love thy neighbor, and all that.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan