Gym Blog | Day 11

I didn’t actually go to the gym today. Oops. Continue reading “Gym Blog | Day 11”

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Mom’s Visit | Day 6

Hello, friends. Today has been very… trying.

[You can read about Days 0-1 here, Day 2 here, Day 3 here, Day 4 here, and Day 5 here.]

Hello, friends. Today has been very… trying.

Kyle went back to work today, though I had him with me all morning and early afternoon. I had planned on getting some housework done, since it has all gone undone ever since my mom arrived, but that never ended up happening. Liam was incredibly fussy all morning, despite sleeping for nearly 13 hours straight, and was being quite naughty. On top of dealing with a cranky toddler, Kyle had a meeting with the financial aid office about getting financial help with his CDL class… and they basically told him there is nothing they can do to help him. So he came home very upset, which only made me more upset about this whole day getting off to a rough start.

Liam took an early nap around 10:15, despite only being awake for 2.5 hours, and ended up sleeping for 3 whole hours. I decided to put off doing anything with my mom until after he had his lunch, in the hopes that his long nap would put him in better spirits. This did not stop her from driving all the way to the park up the street from our apartment, and texting us about all the comings and goings happening there. It made me feel bad, and a little annoyed, that she drove all the way here, when we didn’t want company for a while, but whatever.

After kiddo woke up and had his lunch, my mom came over, and we all sat around, playing with Liam’s blocks, doing puzzles, and chatting. Kyle left for work, and my mom and I left shortly after to take Liam to the play area at the mall. We stopped to get some concrete mixers from Culver’s (basically, for those who don’t know, it is just building your own delicious, frozen custard treat with all sorts of candies and toppings to mix in), since we’ve all been craving them lately. We brought one to Kyle at work, and visited with him and one of his co-workers for a while, then headed to the mall play area.

Unlike yesterday, we had the entire play area to ourselves, and Liam had a blast, running around and screaming like a silly boy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all that fun for me, as my mom was driving me absolutely insane. She was crawling around, playing with Liam, and chasing him, and kept stopping every so often to proclaim loudly, “Oh, I better stop, I’m probably embarrassing mommy!”, despite the fact that there was no one around, and I had not said anything at all. She did this at least 10 times. That’s just something she does, and it honestly drives me insane. She always says things like, “I’m just so stupid, don’t listen to me.” or “I’m probably wrong, I’m wrong about everything.” or always assumes that you are embarrassed of her, even when you aren’t arguing with her, or correcting her, or anything. It is so irritating, and she has been like this my entire life. I was hoping that she had changed, even a little bit, in the 8 years since I’ve lived under the same roof as her, but she hasn’t. I’ve called her out on it before, and tell her to stop saying things like that about herself, but it just makes her angry.

Anyway, after a little while, it started getting close to dinner time, so we headed to the bathrooms at other end of the mall to change Liam’s diaper. Once we got there, my mom told me she was going to just go wait for me by the car, which was parked outside of a totally different entrance, and I told her I was going to be a minute, because I wanted to take Liam to say goodnight to Kyle, since he wouldn’t be home in time for bedtime. She just walked off without a word.

Back in Kyle’s work, where it was absolutely dead, I found myself ranting irritably to Kyle and his co-worker friend, while Liam ran around, playing with the various things that hung from low hooks. I eventually went to meet my mom back at the car, where she argued with me over where we should eat dinner, and we ended up eating nowhere, and she just dropped me off at the partment.

Ugh. I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve just been so exhausted lately, emotionally and physically, and it has put me so on edge. I knew that this was going to be a hard week for me, as even spending 24 hours with my mom gets under my skin, but this week has been hard for so many reasons. Tomorrow is her last visiting day with us, even though her flight leaves Saturday night, but she doesn’t want to stop by that day. I’ll be honest, I really missed alone time with my son. I missed cleaning my apartment. I missed taking naps. I missed spending Kyle’s days off with him, cuddling on the couch, watching Netflix. I missed normality.

I guess that’s it for now. I want to spend tomorrow driving around, looking for garage sales and yard sales in the area. My mom is still pushing that she wants to buy me stuff, so maybe I’ll be able to find a decent dresser somewhere for her to get me. Who knows.

Well, Kyle literally just walked in, and I want cuddles. We’ve been watching The Adventures of Merlin on Netflix, and I know I’ve mentioned it before, but seriously, you should check it out.

Also, before I go, I wanted to add something else that she does that I find… odd. Whenever Liam does literally anything, like how he plays with blocks, or babbles, or runs around excitedly… just the things he does normally, she never compares him to me at his age. Not at all. She always says that everything reminds her of herself, or her and her mom, from when she was little. She never even talks about me as a baby, or her and I. I just find it strange. Is it? I don’t know. Meh.

Anyway, thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

Daily Prompt 1/9/2016 | No Use Crying Over Spilled Tea

Daily Prompt 1/9/2016 | Worst Case Scenario

“Of all the awful possibilities, what’s the worst possible thing that could happen to you today? Now, what about the best?”

I needed this prompt today. Boy, did I need this prompt.

This day has started off terribly. I got very little sleep last night, due to my 11.5 month old’s teething and sleep regression. I was up nearly every hour. I’ve been spoiled by this child and his amazing sleep habits, so this has been rough for me. I finally got us up for the day around 7, and have faced fit after fit from my little guy, as I have been trying to keep the “grown up” things away from him (i.e. PS4 controller, remote, my phone). He wants nothing to do with his own toys today.

Kyle came home from work early today. And by early, I mean 10 hours early. He has two jobs, and this particular one is in a distribution center, Sat-Mon, from 6a-6p. Pretty good money usually. Apparently, they’ve been slow since the end of the holiday season, and are expected to be slow all weekend, so they sent a handful of people home, including Kyle, who is still relatively new to the company. So there’s over $130 lost from this paycheck already. This is a pretty big bummer for us, as we were already pretty tight on money.

He also surprised me by running to Walmart to pick up a few things after work, including a gallon of iced tea for me, since I completely ran out of drinkable things yesterday. I took it out of the fridge to pour a glass, and proceeded to drop it, shattering the top, and flooding my entire kitchen/dining area with a FULL gallon of iced tea.

FML.

Did I mention I was also in the process of cooking breakfast on the stove for a fussy, hungry baby? Yup.

Then, I discovered that we were out of paper towels (the horror!), and had to use all of our bath towels (we only have 4 of them), and 2 washcloths, to contain the tea. After the towels and cloths were thoroughly soaked, I mopped the floor with my Swiffer. Twice. Now there are soggy, sticky towels in my bathtub, as I don’t have a freaking washer and dryer either.

So, yeah. This day is going swimmingly!

But… with all of this having been said… it could be so much worse.

*deep breaths*

Dealing with teething and sleep regression is frustrating… but my son is healthy. He is healthy, and smart, and so perfect. He is the happiest, funniest baby, and he fills my life with so much light and love. This will pass.

Kyle got sent home early, and we lost some money from this paycheck… but at least he has a job (TWO jobs) and is able to provide for the three of us, so that I can stay home and raise our son during this crucial time in his life. We make enough money now, to where we no longer need government assistance for food or formula, and even after buying these things ourselves, we have plenty left over for bills, or anything else that might pop up.

I spilled a gallon of tea on the floor… but it was just a few dollars lost, and only took a few minutes from my day to clean up. Since Kyle is home today, we will just run to the laundromat for an unexpected laundry trip, and have extra, clean clothes for the rest of the week.

Do I wish this day had gone differently? Yup. You bet. But, it could have been worse. My son could be sick. I could be sick. We could have nothing in the bank. Kyle could have gotten laid off. We could be in debt. My apartment could have caught on fire. A tornado could have ripped through our town. So many awful things could have happened…

But we are fine. We are all just fine.

Things are good. I just need to take a step back and remember these things whenever I have days like this, where I want to give up and cry. I just have to remember that, although the last few years have felt like living in nonstop, spiraling chaos… things are stable now, and I need to not worry and stress so much.

There is no use crying over spilled tea.

But, if anyone out there should win the lottery, remember your good friend, Jan, okaaay? That would be splendid! 😉

Thanks for reading.

Jan