Dream Journal 7/29/17 | Band

I was sitting in band class, clarinet in hand, waiting patiently as our teacher handed out some sheet music. He handed me my part, and immediately informed the class that we only had an hour to perfect and memorize the song, because we would be marching around the school in an hour, competing against other schools.

We ran through the song a few times, which sounded HORRIBLE, and he decided to inform me that he wanted me to have a solo, just as we were walking out the door. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, and he just ignored me.

We were in the hallway, standing as a group, between two other bands. They were both standing at attention, and were wearing matching, snazzy uniforms. We were all in jeans and t-shirts, and looked like terrified, jumpy animals. We began moving through the very large, very empty, hallways of the school, at more of a walking pace, rather than marching, as the group in front of us played through their song perfectly. As we passed by the gym, the first group broke off, and went in. Myself, and the clarinet player next to me, began to follow them into the gym, but one of them turned to us and shouted at us to leave.

We get back to our own band, and the teacher signaled for us to begin playing. It. Was. Bad. No one knew the song. At all. Then, he signaled to me to begin playing my solo, that I was somehow expected to know, and I looked down and realised that I no longer had my clarinet. He kept staring at me, and I started to panic. Then, the clarinet player to my left started playing something to break the silence. It was shaky and breathy, and didn’t sound like much of anything, but I appreciated her breaking the terrible silence.

We kept walking, even as the band behind us started playing, until my teacher pulled me aside. He told me that it was okay that I didn’t do my solo, because now he wanted me to do a new solo. A spoken solo. He said that we were going to act out some scene from a book about zoo animals, and that I was going to be reciting the park of a lion, who gives a motivational speech about going to war… or something. He pulled us all aside, out of the path of the other band, and handed out a bunch of children’s books. We flipped through the pages, all confused as hell, as he began reading to us.

My fellow clarinet playing friend and I started to read our parts, when we suddenly heard the sounds of a crowd screaming and cheering. They were chanting something, but I’m not sure what. Our teacher motioned for us to follow him down the hallway, back toward the gym…

And then I woke up.

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Dream Journal 7/16/16 | Murder At A Concert

I was waiting backstage, holding my clarinet, getting ready to go out on stage to perform with people from my childhood and high school years. I recognized several people from high school, some from middle school, and some from district music festivals, even though we were all adults, and I hadn’t seen any of them in eight or more years. Continue reading Dream Journal 7/16/16 | Murder At A Concert

High School Memories

Hey, friends. I’ve been meaning to upload a vlog about everything that has been going on lately, but honestly, I’m too depressed. Kyle has been away at school for three days now, and we just found out that his classes actually last five weeks, and not three weeks, like he was originally told. Five weeks, followed by four to six weeks of driving on the road with his instructor. I haven’t been this bored, lonely, or sad, for a very long time. Luckily, I am able to Skype with him for a few minutes after his classes, but I miss him. Liam and I both do. Continue reading High School Memories

Dream Journal 2/18/16

Present day (?).

I was walking around on a large university campus, and the path the I was walking on turned suddenly into a 90 degree, vertical  wall in front of me. I was wearing red flats, and jeans, and tried climbing the wall, but there was nothing to grab on. There was grass on both sides of the path, and I tried to grab onto the large weeds to try and pull myself up, but kept falling down.

A group of young men walked up behind me, and started pulling all kinds of equipment out of their bags. One of the guys turned to me, smiled, and asked why I didn’t just take a different path. I shrugged and asked him if they could help me. They showed me how to properly scale the wall, and I got to the top.

I walked into a large building, which opened into a concert hall, and sat down among a group of other people my age, all holding various instruments. I pulled a clarinet from my backpack, and we all started practicing. A group of young children was being ushered into the hall by a few adults, and they all sat in the first few rows of seats, and looked at us excitedly. We played an upbeat, marching band type song, bowed, and departed.

Then, it was dark outside, and I was back at the vertical wall path again. I put my backpack on the ground, and tried to climb the wall again, despite having no help. As I was struggling, a young woman walked by, laughing, and asked me why I didn’t just go around. I looked over at her, and watched as she disappeared around the side of the wall. Embarrassed and confused, I followed her, and found another path, with a much gentler slope upward. I started walking behind her, frustrated that it had taken me so long, and could hear the band playing from inside a nearby building. I started walking toward a very large, columned building, where there was some kind of protest happening.

And then I woke up.

The Lovely Blog Award

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Hello, friends! I am super excited, and totally honored, to tell you that I’ve been nominated for the Lovely Blog Award! As some of you have seen, I was also recently nominated for the Liebster Award, which was so great! I had seen the Lovely Blog Award floating around, given to some very deserving individuals, and now I’ve made the cut! I was nominated by the fantastic Lady CAS, who I adore entirely. I am so excited and humbled. Thanks again, Lady!

The Rules For Award Acceptance:
1. Each nominee must thank the person who nominated them (including a link to their blog).
2. List the rules, and post the blog award badge in the post.
3. Add 7 facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the Lovely Blog Award, and notify them that they have been nominated.

The official rules dictate that I tell you seven facts about myself, and I had to think hard about this one, because I’ve already posted two other posts with 30 total facts about myself, haha. After taking some time to think of a few more, here we are, and here are my seven facts!

7 Facts About Me:
1. Up until the age of 17 or 18, I hated my name. I’m still not a fan, honestly. It is spelled “Janise“, but pronounced the same as “Janice“. You’d think that would be obvious, but every teacher that I’ve ever had, from kindergarten up to my senior year, called me “Jan-EE-se“. Repeatedly. It became a running joke, but I hated it so much. I usually just go by “Jan” now.
2. I went to college in Newfoundland, Canada for one year. I was studying Psychology, which is something I have always been passionate about, but had to drop out due to financial problems. I still owe the school money, nearly 7 years later, and I have fears that I will never get to go back to school, or have a career.
3. I love Harry Potter. I can honestly say that the Harry Potter series played a huge role in shaping me into the woman that I am today, for so many reasons. Not ashamed!
4. I played the clarinet from ages 9-16. I originally wanted to play the trumpet, but my mom wouldn’t let me. I ended up being really good at the clarinet, and was selected as first chair every year. I was even specially chosen to attend several district music festivals (two of which required an audition), and was selected as first chair in all 3 music festivals, beating out over a dozen other talented clarinetists. Playing the clarinet was one of the only things that gave me a sense of pride, yet I foolishly threw it away, quitting band at the age of 16 for petty, stupid reasons. I’ve regretted it ever since.
5. I have mild social anxiety. I no longer experience anxiety attacks when in public, and have come quite a long way, but I still don’t enjoy being around other people. Family, friends, or strangers. Unfortunately, nobody seems to understand this, and often mistake my anxiety for rudeness, which only makes it worse.
6. I don’t really care for coffee, and I don’t like bacon. I decided to put these two facts into one, because they are equally addictive, and I have gotten equal amounts of hate for both. Come at me, bro.
7. I played World of Warcraft for 9ish years, but had to take a 1.5 year break when I was without a computer and internet. I came back only for a few months, after my son was born, but quit when I realized that there was absolutely nothing left for me to come back to. I’ve been drifting through the internet, alone, ever since.

Whew, that was fun! To finish off this post, I’d like to nominate the following 15 individuals for the Lovely Blog Award. I wish I could nominate everyone that I follow… but I can’t. Sorry.

My 15 Nominees For the Lovely Blog Award:
1. Jleigh
2. Supergirl2000
3. Amy
4. John Jr.
5. Gloria
6. The NYC Mom
7. Heather
8. The Flip of the Switch
9. Tessa
10. Matt
11. Accidental Hipster Mum
12. Life Beyond Mommy
13. Annette
14. Everythings Rosie and George
15. Paintbox Mum

Man, I need to follow more blogs. I apologize if this is the second or third time that any of you have been nominated, feel free not to participate if you don’t want to, I won’t be offended! I just wanted to recognize and share some fantastic blogs with you lovely folks.

I do hope that the rest of you guys accept and share! It is so nice that these awards exist, and I am so honored to have been recognized and nominated for two separate ones. They are also so fun to participate in, especially when I’ve got a little bit of writer’s block going on! Be sure to check out my fellow writer friends, and make a connection! Let’s all support each other. Thanks again, Lady CAS, for the nomination.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan