The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt 1/22/2016 | My Favorite
“What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your favorite person? Tell us about it.”
Hours. Just a few hours.
I have never left my son with anyone, other than his father. Ever. Even with his father, it was only for 15-20 minutes so that I could shower, or an hour or two so that I could nap. The thought of leaving him alone with anyone makes me anxious, and when I am away from him, it gets worse. I thought this feeling of separation anxiety would dissipate after a few months, but it hasn’t. Not even a little. Even on our worst days, when I want to scream and cry and give up, I can’t fathom the thought of leaving him with anyone else. Here are a few reasons why I feel this way:
1) Nobody knows him like I do. Nobody. Kyle has had little part in our day-to-day lives. He’s changed a total of 6 diapers over the course of a year (none of them poopy), and has never cooked for, or fed, Liam. He doesn’t know how much of what to give him, or what he likes and dislikes. He’s never put him to bed, brushed his teeth, or given him a bath either. So you can see why leaving him alone with him would cause me stress.
2) Liam has stranger anxiety. Even with his dad, if I’m gone for more than a few minutes, he gets upset. He loves his daddy, but being away from me is stressful for him. He still doesn’t really let anyone hold him, and if he does, it is only for a few minutes. The idea of leaving him at someone’s house, or at daycare, terrifies me. I’m afraid that once I leave, he will cry and cry and cry, and will never stop, and they will hate him.
3) Trust. I’ve seen how much Kyle’s mother spoils our niece, even against her mother’s wishes. I’ve heard her say candy/cookies/soda, etc. and then Kyle’s mother turns around and gives her whatever she wants. Now she is a spoiled 4-year old who throws tantrums at every little thing. I don’t want that. I don’t buy into the whole “grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids” crap. No. If the PARENT tells you that they can’t have something, you need to respect that. You’re teaching the child that what mommy and daddy says doesn’t matter, as long as grandma says yes. Big no-no.
4) Past experiences. Now, this is a bit more of a stretch, but on more than one occasion, I encountered abuse at the hands of a caregiver as a child. Completely normal, seemingly nice people. I’d like to think that Liam’s grandmother, father, a babysitter, or whoever, would never think of hitting him out of frustration, or for any other reason… but you never know how people will handle the strain of a crying baby, even if they’ve dealt with it in the past. This terrifies me.
Am I crazy? Overprotective? Maybe. Probably. I don’t know. I will need to go back to work some day, and I’m hoping that Liam starts warming up to strangers by the time that needs to happen.
Any other parents have anxiety over leaving their babies with someone else? My son will be one tomorrow, and this fear is not letting up at all.
Thanks for reading, friends.