Dream Journal 6/7/17 | Millionaire

One morning, I woke up and discovered that I had somehow gained telekinetic powers. After a brief moment of freaking out, I decided that I was not going to tell Kyle, or anyone else for the matter, and instead immediately went to buy a PowerBall ticket.

That night, when they were picking numbers, I used my powers to make the balls with the numbers I had chosen land in the picker’s hand, and I won.

I had won 380 MILLION dollars.

I went home, and immediately began selling everything I owned, and waited for Kyle to get home. When he walked in the door, he started to panic, asking where all of our stuff was. I told him the news, and he fainted, in the most dramatic, hilarious fashion.

I never used my powers after that, for some reason.

Cut to a few weeks later. We were living in a large, beautiful house in our town, well within our price range, and Kyle had a brand new truck. We still had not told a soul that we won all this money. I had started meeting with a really nice woman at a nearby country club, and she gave me tips and tricks on how to invest my money and grow it. Within just those couple weeks, I had already grown our fortune by over 100 million dollars.

One night, Kyle, Liam, and I took a selfie together while sitting in our entertainment room, complete with movie theatre, and uploaded it to Facebook. His mom commented and asked where we were, and I casually responded that we were at home. She thought I was joking, and asked again. Again, I told her we were home. She then messaged me, confused, and I told her about the money that we had come into. She was shocked, and angry that we had hidden it from her for as long as we had, and I felt bad.

We had intended to tell everyone, but we were taking a minute to settle in, and get our life back on track after all of the major changes we underwent all at once. To make it up to her, Kyle and I bought her a new house, and threw a large, family party, where we told everyone the news.

The next day, someone leaked it to the paper, and we had people knocking on our doors, and calling our phones, all day long. So we bought new phones, and put up a large gate. Crowds of people would gather around our gate, taking pictures of our home, as if it were the White House or something.

The last thing I remember was Kyle leaving for work, and someone had keyed the word “CUNT” into the side of his truck, for some reason, so we were talking about hiring security, or possibly moving to another town where people did not know us.

And then I woke up.

Dream Journal 5/19/17 | Apocalyptic… Heroes?

Another zombie apocalypse dream.

I was living in Chicago, and the zombie apocalypse was already in full swing. I was camped out in the top floor of a large, abandoned apartment complex, along with Kyle, our friend, Joe, our son (who was now 5 or 6 years old), and some blonde girl, who was apparently Joe’s girlfriend. Outside, there were still people going on about their lives, but the city was overrun with zombies. Cars, houses, buildings, etc. were all just boarded up and armored, but people were still living.

An armored van pulled up in front of our van, and we all piled in. There were other people in the van, and we all greeted each other. The man driving the van told us that he had found a sporting goods store that was completely abandoned, but still had a bunch of stuff inside, and he proposed that we all go on a shopping spree before we go out on the road. Apparently, we were going on some sort of road trip, out of the city. Another girl in the van argued that we shouldn’t waste time and gas on pointless shopping trips, unless we were going after more weapons and ammo, but the others disagreed with her.

As we drove toward our destination, zombies lined the roads, and turned lazily to follow our van. They didn’t seem to bother us much, since they were moving so slowly. We pulled into a large, empty parking lot in front of an empty strip mall. There was a large sporting goods store, with boarded up windows, and barbed wire across the door. We all climbed out of the van, and walked toward the building, circling around to cover each other against potential attacks. There were zombies in the distance, but they all stayed by the roads, too preoccupied with the other passing cars.

Kyle and Joe pried back a few boards to look inside. There were full racks and bins still inside the store, as if it had never been touched. Excitedly, we broke down the door, rushed in, and started filling our arms and backpacks with merchandise. We were all laughing and cracking jokes, when suddenly, a voice shouted out to us. We turned around to see another group of people standing in the doorway, blocking our exit. We were evenly numbered, but they were armed to the teeth, and scary looking.

A woman stepped forward, telling us she was in charge, and that we were in their territory. Confused, we told her that we didn’t think there were any territories, since there were still a lot of people living in the city, and everyone just goes wherever they please. She explained to us that they control half of the city, and that the barbed wire on the door was their signature, and that we should stay away from any buildings with it.

The driver from our van apologized sarcastically, and told her that we were on our way out. She demanded we leave behind all of the stuff we were taking, and he told her to fuck off. Suddenly, we were all at each other’s throats. Fists flying, gun shots, the sounds of screams, blood splattering around the room. We managed to fight our way through the other group, and made it back to our van in one piece, with minimal injuries.

We sped away from the building, the other group did not follow. We began looking through our loot, as we drove through a particularly rough part of the city. Buildings were burned and crumbling, and dead bodies and zombies were everywhere. There was also a really weird, floating waterfall in the middle of a manmade reservoir, that didn’t really belong. We kept going, mowing down everything in our path with our armored van. Suddenly, there was a blinding light, and our van cale to an immediate stop.

We all gathered in the front of the van to see what was, and standing in front of the van were the people from the other group. They were dressed in neon spandex, masks, and capes, and were all hovering in the air. We got out of the van, leaving all of our weapons behind, and the same leader woman from before demanded that we leave the city and never come back . Joe and his girlfriend started to argue with them, and another spandex-wearing guy from the group shot lasers from his eyes, vaporizing them instantly. We all screamed out, and they all began firing lasers at us.

We scrambled back to the van, and tried to get away, but our van wouldn’t start. I started telling the others that we should negotiate with them, and maybe they would let us leave the city alive…

And then I woke up.


Dream Journal 5/9/17 | Scavengers

[Hello, friends! For those of you who don’t know, my horrible neighbors from across the hall have finally moved out! Our landlord asked us to keep an eye on them, because they owed several months of rent, and they figured they would try to skip out on it. Well, they were right. My neighbors moved out in secret, under the cloak of darkness, during a time they knew I’d be unable to reach the landlord. But I did let them know, and they are officially gone! Finally! It has been several weeks since they moved out, and Kyle and I noticed that they left several pieces of furniture, and other items in the apartment. Our landlord has yet to come by to clean out the place, and I have been anxiously awaiting the day, so that I can get a peek, and maybe a score. I’ve been having dreams about it, you guys. I had another one last night, and it was pretty crazy. Here we go!]

I was standing in the hallway of my building, talking to our maintenance guy, Rocky. He was finally coming to clean out our neighbors apartment, and I asked him nervously if I could take a look inside to see if we wanted anything, since it would all be getting thrown out. He laughed, and told me he was more than happy to let me take a look, because otherwise he was going to have to hire an army of movers. I opened the door to the apartment across the hall, and my jaw dropped. The place was immense. And still fully furnished.

The apartment seemed to stretch on and on, and I could stairs leading both upstairs and down, even though our apartment was only one story. There were couches, chairs, tables, candles and lights, and decorative objects everywhere, making the apartment look more like a cluttered furniture store than an apartment that people lived in. Some pieces were old and damaged, while others seemed to be brand new, and high end.

I ran back into my own apartment to get Kyle, and the two of us began roaming through the vacant apartment. At one point, I turned to see Kyle heading back toward our apartment, arms filled with dining chairs, and a large mirror. I grabbed a large, colorful ottoman, and a few really cool vases filled with decorative branches and fairy lights, and moved them to our place. I let Kyle continue to grab more pieces, and decided to explore the large, mysterious apartment. I found that it had at least 6 bedrooms, as well as some smaller, completely empty rooms, that looked straight out of a horror movie. In the basement, I found a large, above ground pool, completely filled with water, as well as a bunch of tiki torches and an entire patio set, which I left, because we didn’t have room. The setup was really pretty, though.

I also discovered an attic, which was filled with nothing but brand new kids toys, furniture, and clothing. Sandboxes, swings, cars, dolls, kids furniture, bedding, and virtually everything else you can think of. I called Kyle up to the attic, and told him to grab several items, including a cool twin bed frame, some bedding, and a weird caterpillar blanket thing.

Back on the main floor, I made my way to the back of the apartment. All of the rooms I passed seemed to be empty, but I could see a light on in the last room. The walls of the room were glass windows, and I could see a young woman sleeping in the stylish, fully furnished room. I walked in and shook her shoulder, and she awake angrily, immediately demanding that I leave. I explained the situation to her, and told her that everyone was gone, and she told me that they had just been there that morning. I told her no one had come or gone from the apartment in weeks, and she became confused about what day it was. I started grabbing the decorative pillows from off the bed, and she tried to wrestle them from my arms. I told her that none of the stuff belonged to her anymore, and she got angry and stormed out.

I took the pillows, along with a pretty lamp that I found in the hallway, back to my apartment, which was now filled with various furniture and other items. Kyle was in the process of putting a large, wooden dinging table and chairs in our kitchen, and I could see the young woman from before arguing with the maintenance guy outside our window. I started rearranging some of the decorative items in our living room.

I vaguely remember going back and looking through a closet filled with women’s clothing after that.

And then I woke up.

Thanks for reading, friends!


Dream Journal 3/2/17 | Chickens

I was walking down a winding, empty road, lined with green grass and trees. Beside me was a young woman, about the same age as me. We were both dressed for a day at the beach, wearing bathing suits, loose summer dresses, flip-flops, and large totes. We walked and chatted excitedly as we strolled along, talking about the weather, and the green fields, and our excitement over getting to swim finally.

The sound of footsteps from behind us made us stop walking, and we turned to see a tall, chubby farmer, who was carrying two hens. He greeted us, and told us he was walking to the campground just up the road. Apparently, that’s where we were headed as well, and he smiled and said he’d see us there. His pace sped up, and before we knew it, he had walked far enough ahead of us to be out of sight. A few moments later, we could hear the frantic sounds of chickens, and ran around a bend in the road, where we spotted the same farmer, chasing three hens in circles.

We helped the farmer scoop up the hens, but he kept angrily criticizing us, saying that we weren’t holding the chickens properly, and trying to readjust our arms. We ended up dropping the chickens. Then, we had to chase them up the road, until we reached the campground. There were two dogs fighting on the side of the road, and they stopped momentarily to chase after the chickens. My friend and I tried to catch the dogs, but the farmer kept yelling at us to catch the chickens, so we stopped, and just stood there watching the chaos, unsure of what to do.

A young girl ran up to us, bawling her eyes out, and told us that we had lost her chihuahua. I told her I hadn’t seen her chihuahua, but just then, a small, white animal (which was definitely NOT a chihuahua, it looked more like a guinea pig), ran through our legs, and under some steps nearby. I asked the little girl if that was her dog, and she punched my friend in the arm, and ran away.

The farmer was still yelling at us about his chickens, which had completely disappeared, along with the two dogs.

And then I woke up.

Dream Journal 3/2/17 | Will Smith

I was walking through a large store by myself, just browsing around in the women’s clothing section, when I saw a man pacing angrily through the aisles of greeting cards. The man was wearing a gray beanie, dark sunglasses, and a leather coat. He was shouting angrily about there being no one around to help him, and cursing under his breath. Despite him seeming slightly terrifying, I walked over to him and asked if he needed help looking for a specific card. I told him that I used to work in the store, and might be able to help him. He just stared at me for a few seconds before dramatically ripping off his sunglasses, and saying, “Get the fuck away from me.”

I stared for a moment, completely in shock. It was Will Smith. Will Smith was the man angrily pacing through the greeting card aisle. Will Smith had just cursed at me and told me to get away from him. I calmly asked him if he was sure he didn’t need any help, and he started hollering incoherently at me. I backed away and quickly retreated back to the women’s clothing section. I was shaking, and felt a strange mix of confusion and excitement. There was a girl nearby who was folding shirts on a table, and I walked over to her and told her that Will Smith was in the store. She got excited and said she wanted to say hello to him, but when I told her what happened, so said we had to warn the other employees.

We walked over to the Electronics department, where a really young guy was working at the counter. He literally only looked 12 or 13 years old. As we were telling him that Will Smith was in the store, Will Smith walked by, and before we could warn him that the guy was kind of an unstable jerk, he ran up to him, excitedly asking him to take a picture. Will Smith looked over at me and the other girl, and started shouting that I was stalking him, and that this was all my fault, and whatnot. I stood there, completely frozen, while security showed up to drag him away, still screaming obscenities in my direction.

Then, I was at home. I was sitting at my computer, and Facebook Messenger popped up. I didn’t know the person, but they sent me a link to an online blog, run by Will Smith. In his most recent blog post, he wrote a scathing article about how I was stalking him, and harassing him, and had gotten him removed from a store. He mentioned me by name, and there were pictures of me as well. I was horrified. I never told him my name, and how did he even get the pictures?

I read through the comments, and there were at least a dozen people with “Jan” or “Janise” (my name) in their screen names, all claiming to be me, and all saying horrible things, and making me look bad. There were links being posted to other blogs, social networks, and even YouTube, where people were pretending to be me. I tried writing a comment, apologising to Will Smith, and telling him this was all a huge misunderstanding, but as soon as I hit enter, I was flooded by horrible, mean replies. Most people thought I was another fake.

I started crying, and closed the blog post. Back on Facebook, I had another two dozen messages waiting for me, all from strangers, all with links to these other sites where people were pretending to be me. Trying to twist the situation, and tell “their side” of the story, trying to get attention. I clicked on a few of the YouTube links, and saw girls of every age, ethnicity, etc. impersonating me, making me look awful. It didn’t make any sense.

It went on like that for a while. Endless videos, endless tweets, endless blog posts, all people trying to garner attention for themselves, while destroying my good name.

After a while, I woke up.