My Last 8 Selfies

Hello, friends! I was recently inspired by a very lovely mama over on the It’s A Mum’s Life 2016 blog to post my most recent, eight selfies. For those of you still living in… the age of pre-smartphones, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a selfie as “an image of oneself taken by oneself using a digital camera especially for posting on social networks.” A lot of people associate selfies with vanity, or narcissism, and sometimes, maybe that’s the case… but certainly not all of the time. Continue reading My Last 8 Selfies

Try, Try Again

Hello, friends. Yesterday, I found myself looking at my reflection, and feeling disappointed. My face has gotten rounder, my skin seems duller, and I just look… unhealthy. All those new clothes that I bought in celebration of losing 25 pounds barely fit me now, and I hate it. Despite all of the hard work I put into my diet and exercise at the end of last year, I find myself feeling like an absolute failure these days after falling off the wagon several months ago, and being unable to commit to diet and exercise again. I want to fix that. I want to fix me.

I think the biggest reason my last diet, although quite successful, failed after just 3 months, was because switched from a diet consisting of pizza, fast food, and carbs, to a “vegan” diet, on top of counting calories, very suddenly. I was eating less than 1,200 calories a day, and working out every other day, and it was just too big of a change, much too fast, and it drove me insane. I lost 27 pounds in less than 3 months, and felt better than I had in YEARS, but when I crashed, I crashed HARD. As much as I love him, I blame my carnivorous partner for about half of my crashing and burning. For always bringing home pizza, snacks, and wanting to eat out. For always telling me that cheat days were okay, even though I had already had 2 or 3 that week, and it was only Wednesday. For completely neglecting his own health, and being unwilling to work with me on making our entire household healthier. It was so hard to focus on eating right when I was surrounded by my favorite, terrible things, that I had been starving myself from. I needed his support, and he wasn’t willing to set aside his live of food to help me.

So, I failed.

I’ve managed to stay around my pre-pregnancy weight (give or take a few pounds, as my weight fluctuates pretty crazily), which is a tiny victory for me… but I miss feeling healthy. I miss daily walks, and Zumba three times a week. I miss having soft hair and glowing skin. I miss having energy. I miss buying clothes in sizes that I haven’t fit into in 8 years. I miss feeling proud of myself.

I’ve decided that I’m going to go back on my no meat/no dairy diet (it’s not full vegan, I still eat eggs, sorry), only this time, I won’t be counting calories. Giving up meat and dairy wasn’t all that bad, and wasn’t nearly as difficult as weighing, measuring, and logging every single thing that I ate. It was exhausting. Not allowing myself to stray off of my calorie count even a little, without being filled with guilt self-hatred, was awful. I was healthier than I had been since high school, and would still hate myself for eating a cookie. That just isn’t healthy, and it was a recipe for disaster.

Now that the weather is warming up, I’m going to invest in a new pair of sneakers, and a few pairs of loose shorts. I’m going to try to get outside more, and spend more time at the park with my son. I’m going to cook more, and research fun, new ways to incorporate more vegan-friendly foods into my diet so that I don’t end up eating beans and rice, or salad, every day.

I want to be healthy, physically and mentally. I can do this!

Jan

Blogception

I’m having some crazy deja vu right now. Weird.

Sorry that I haven’t been blogging much, things have been not so great in my life lately. We’ve been having even more car troubles (it never ends), and now we no longer have a car. Kyle is also in the processing of getting a new job, which will be amazing for us. A lot more money, a lot less hours, and much closer to home. We’re keeping our fingers crossed. More details on that to come later on!

I created a GoFundMe page to help us with our car situation, as we are currently relying on Kyle’s mom, as well a few of his coworkers, for rides. It is not fun. I know a lot of people are against these types of things, so I want to say thank you to everyone who has been supporting us and helping us try to raise funds, whether they donated personally, or shared my posts on Twitter and Facebook. Thank you all so much.

In other news, I finally have a personal Tumblr! Some of you may remember my porn Tumblr, which I recently sort of got back into posting on (not pictures of me, btw, just lots of other fabulous NSFW things), but this Tumblr is all for me, and the stuff I’ve been into lately.

Delicious food things, fluffy animals, nature things, sad quotes, and a whole lot of Dan and Phil from YouTube. Yep. That’s basically what my Tumblr is. I’ve been obsessed with Dan and Phil lately. Oh my god. Just so fantastic. You should check them out!

In other, other news, I’ve been playing with the idea of going vegan for 30 days, or more if I like it. I’ve been looking up a lot of cheap, easy recipes (as I only get to buy groceries once a month, and also can’t cook), and have found some really great ideas. It is something I have been wanting to try for a very long time, but it just never seemed like something I could do. I already hardly eat meat, and love vegetables and such, so it honestly wouldn’t be that big of a change, I think. Giving up cheese will be hardest for me, but I’d be willing to do it if it means improving my health and clearing my skin up a bit.

I’m also going to start running again at night, like I did before I got pregnant, since Kyle will be around a lot more at night to watch the baby. I’ve been missing it.

So, there’s a quick update, for anyone who was wondering what I’ve been up to. I hope to see some more of you over on Tumblr, where I seem to be spending most of my time these days. Time to watch some more Criminal Minds, which we just started over on Netflix.

Thanks for reading!

Jan