Dream Journal 5/27/16 | Time Warps and Old Cars

[A dream I had during my short nap today.]

I woke up from a nap to the sound of my phone ringing. I ignored it, then checked the time. It was 3:30. I had been asleep for 2 hours. I checked the baby monitor to make sure that it was on, since I had not heard Liam wake up from his nap, but figured either he was taking a long nap, or that Kyle just got him up when he got home from work. I fell back asleep, phone still in my hand.

I woke up, and glanced at my screen, which read 4:15. I rolled over and fell back asleep.

I woke up again and checked my phone. 5:30. I woke up in a panic, it was past Liam’s dinner time, and no one had woken me up. I walked into Liam’s room, but he wasn’t in his crib. I walked into the living room, but it was empty. I picked up my phone and started to call Kyle to see where they were, but a loud noise outside caught my attention, and I walked to the window.

There was an old, lime green car parked in Kyle’s parking spot, and several other older show cars parked behind it. There were old cars parked on our lawn, on our neighbor’s lawn, and in the streets. I peeked through the blinds, watching the dozen large, burly men (who looked more like bikers than car enthusiasts) standing around the cars. I took my phone out, and pushed it through the blinds, trying to get a picture of them without being seen, when suddenly, one of the men started shouting. He was staring right at me, and was alerting the other men about my surveillance attempt.

I back away from the window, afraid…

And then I woke up, for real this time… very confused.

Dream Journal 4/18/16 | Medieval

Liam and I were visiting family up in Maine, and we were staying at my mom’s boyfriend’s mother’s house. Liam and I were staying in her split level house, while everyone else was staying in the obscene large mansion that she had casually built onto her old split level. I was sitting in the dining room, Liam on my lap, talking to a few family members, when I started feeling tired, and curled up on the floor with Liam. Everyone kept on talking, and I fell asleep.

I opened my eyes and it was morning. I could hear whispering, and turned to see my mom’s boyfriend’s son, and his girlfriend, staring at me from the hallway. I was still lying on the kitchen floor. They were wearing nothing but towels, and they hurried past me, through the kitchen, and out the door, without a word. I stood up, and suddenly started to panic, because Liam was not with me. I ran around the house calling his name, but he wasn’t there. I entered the mansion part of the house through a massive, iron gate on the other side of the living room, and tried to find someone to help me look for him. Several family members saw me running from room to room, but none of them offered to help, and just ignored me.

I found my mom, and her boyfriend’s mother, sitting at a long dining table in a great hall, and asked them if they had seen him. My mom told me that the only available bed was in the attic, so they locked him up there. I started crying and ran to find the attic. Upon reaching the room, I found it empty, and I screamed dramatically. I opened a door on the other side of the room, and was suddenly on a rocky beach. A few yards away sat Liam, kicking his feet in the shallow, ocean water. I ran and scooped him up, squeezing him against me, sobbing, while he playfully tried to push me away.

I went back inside, and found all of the family members sitting at the large, dining table now. I started shouting about how awful, and irresponsible it was for them to leave him alone in the attic, especially when there was (freaky magical) access to the beach. They all just stared at me, and my mom’s boyfriend’s mother laughed and told me to stop being so overprotective. I was livid. I put Liam down and grabbed a chair, chucking it forcefully at her head. It crashed against the table, and everyone started screaming and running away.

I grabbed one of the chair legs, stuck the end into the nearby fireplace, and threw the flaming torch into the scattering crowd. One of the family members called me a monster, and she threw a mug at me, but it missed and shattered on the ground. Liam started crying, and I picked him up, calmly walking out of the large room, while everyone kept shouting fearfully.

We walked back to the split level part of the house, and walked out the door. I checked each of the dozen cars parked in the driveway for an unlocked door, and ended up stealing a black sports car. I drove the car to a nearby park, we got out, and started heading toward a nearby swing set.

And then I woke up.

Don’t Kick Me When I’m Down

Hello, friends! Liam and I are feeling much better as of yesterday, as we finally slept (mostly) through the night! He did wake up 4 times, all before 1:30 in the morning, but he slept until 7:30. His cough is gone, and he is much less fussy, and much more energetic, than he has been in over a week. I’m glad the antibiotics kicked in quickly! We seem to be in the middle of a developmental leap, as he has been increasingly clingy the last few days, add this to his teething, and it has been a bit frustrating not being able to do anything during the day. My apartment is a mess, and now that I’m feeling better, all I want to do is clean, but he just won’t let me.

Kyle still hasn’t been able to find a new job, and our funds are starting to run low. His department at his one remaining job decided to cut his department’s hours, and he has only been working 2-3 days a week, which is nowhere near enough to pay our rent, let alone the rest of our bills. I am trying to stay positive, but things are starting to get tight, and I am starting to panic a little. He’s been filling out applications every day, but hasn’t heard anything back from anyone. I filed an application for EBT yesterday, and tomorrow I will go to the WIC office and get back on that. We had both up until Kyle got his job at the Walmart DC, but we lost them when he was hired. We more than qualify for assistance now that they have (wrongfully) fired him.

Things have been frustrating here. Very frustrating. I am exhausted, and I have been getting migraines again, most likely triggered by my blood pressure, which I am willing to bet is higher than normal. And stress.

Also, my phone is missing. Liam was playing with it this morning, as he normally does, and now it is gone. I made the mistake of allowing him to play with it, since he no longer puts electronics in his mouth. I have been looking for it all day, but really started tearing the apartment apart an hour ago, while he was eating dinner, to try and find it. I’ve looked in all his usual hiding places (under my desk, under the kitchen table, in the shoes, etc.), but I can’t find it anywhere. Oh, and of course, it is on silent. Grr.

In other news, I have been playing the game Stardew Valley quite a bit lately in my free time. Kyle bought it for me for our anniversary last month, and I am completely addicted to it. I’ll write up a longer review later when I have time. I also have 4 dream journal entries, and 3 blog ideas, that I need to write out. I just never have a second to get on the computer anymore, unless Liam is sleeping, in which case, I am either bathing myself, or cleaning the apartment. Blogging, Twitter, Facebook, etc., have all taken a backseat to life. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much of everything. It has been nice, in a way, having Kyle home, as it has freed me up a bit… but it comes at a cost, obviously.

That’s it for now. Thank you to everyone for all the well wishes and kind words. I’ve missed you guys, and I’m sorry I haven’t been active lately. I have SO many posts to read and catch up on! I hope to be back soon.

Thanks for reading, friends!

Jan

Dream Journal 1/2/16

(I’ve been meaning to write out several entries from my dream journal, and finally have time to do it. Here is the second.)

Present day/near future.

Kyle, Liam, and I are hiking at Starved Rock State Park. Liam looks only slightly older than he is now, maybe 18 months or so, and I am wearing him on my back in a bright, blue carrier. Kyle and I are wearing matching white tops and black bottoms (t-shirt and shorts for him, tank top and leggings for me). Liam is bundled up in a coat and hat, as it appears to be Autumn, judging by the changing leaves on the trees along the trails. The cold doesn’t seem to bother either of us.

We pass by dozens of people, and each person or group stops to compliment us on how cute our son is. Eventually, it starts to get aggravating, as our hike is continuously interrupted, and we decide to go onto one of the harder trails with less foot traffic.

We run into my old work friend, Brooke, who volunteers as a photographer at the park, and she tells us that there is a hurricane coming, and that we need to continue up the trail to the nearest lodge for safety. This confuses us, as we are in central Illinois, and hurricanes don’t reach us, but we comply.

As we continue up the trail, it starts to sprinkle, but the rain is a soft, translucent, green color, which casts a beautiful, green veil over the woods. We stop to take pictures, as the rain is very light, but can hear people yelling urgently a little ways in front of us, so we quickly continue onward.

Further up the trail, there is a large sinkhole, at least 10 feet across, which has swallowed up most of the bridge that we need to get across. Water from the small river is loudly pouring down the gaping hole, creating thundering echoes. There is a family on the other side of the gap, beckoning us over, though they seem very angry that we are unable to cross. The father is shouting at us, but even though he is only a few feet away, is sounds as though he is across the Grand Canyon, and we can’t hear a word he says.

We leave the trail to find another way around, and come across another bridge, which leads to a small, abandoned cabin, where we decide to wait out the storm.

The inside is fully furnished, albeit very rustically, but there is a working computer in the corner, which is already turned on, and logged into my Facebook account. I put Liam on the floor and hand him his stuffed, purple Brachiosaurus toy, and sit down at the computer. Kyle retreats to the kitchen, where he finds a fully stocked fridge, and starts cooking.

It is no longer raining outside, and the ground is already dry. I peek out the window as I change Liam’s diaper on the hideous, yellow couch in the living area, and see that the trees are greener than they were before, but apparently that is because the rain was actually very glossy paint, which is now coating, and dripping off, their leaves. I sit on the floor to play cars with Liam.

Then, I am watching a Shane Dawson video on YouTube, when there is a knock on the door. It is Brooke, and she informs us that we have been missing for six days, and that the entire state has been looking for us. Kyle and I laugh and tell her that that is impossible, as we have only been in the tiny cabin for an hour or so. She looks confused, and asks us what cabin we are talking about.

Then we are in the woods. The trees are back to being shades of orange, red, and yellow, and it is very, very cold. I can hear Liam crying, and Kyle picks him up. Brooke asks if we are okay, and hands me a water bottle, which I chug, because I am apparently very thirsty.

We start walking back to the trail, which is only a few feet from the cabin, and Brooke radios that she found us. Kyle and I argue with her that it is impossible that we have been gone that long, and tell her that we only went inside to wait out the weird, green rain. She looks confused, and says she’s never seen green rain before.

This only adds to our confusion. I hoist Liam up onto my shoulders, and we follow Brooke down the trail. I can see a large group, containing hundreds of people in the distance. They are all cheering. Brooke says something about making us a chocolate cake, and asks if I like Sprite or Dr. Pepper better.

And then I wake up.