Mom’s Visit | The Final Day

[You can read about Days 0-1 here, Day 2 here, Day 3 here, Day 4 here, Day 5 here, and Day 6 here.]

Hello, friends. Yesterday was my mom’s final day visiting with us, though her plane doesn’t actually leave Illinois for another 3 hours or so. It was a very mixed day. I felt really on edge, and anxious, from the time I woke up, to the moment we said our goodbyes. I tried so hard to make it a good day, but it felt like my mom and I were butting heads more often than not, and it created a lot of tension.

Kyle worked from 10-6 yesterday, so it was another day of just my mom, Liam, and I. Liam has been in quite the mood for the last couple days, including yesterday, which resulted in an early nap, which I was hoping to avoid doing, since we were going out to eat that night, and I didn’t want him being fussy. Ah, life with toddlers. Everything revolves around them.

My mom came over just after lunch, and we left in search of local garage sales, since there are signs littering the entire town. After over an hour of driving around, which was pretty quiet and uneventful, and not seeing anything of interest, we decided to drive to the mall so that Liam could play a bit before dinner. I stopped by Sears to see Kyle, but was told that he had just gone to lunch. I asked his co-worker if she could get him for me really quickly, as there wasn’t a single person in the store, and she was just standing at the register, but she told me she wasn’t allowed to (which is bullshit). Since I don’t have minutes on my phone, I couldn’t text him to tell him we were there, so we left, and hoped that he would be there when we came back through.

My mom bought me a late lunch at my favorite spot in the mall, and I shared a delicious, pretzel bread turkey sandwich with Liam, who already eaten lunch, but always insists on eating everything in sight. We also went into Maurice’s to scope out the huge clearance sale they were having. My mom tried to buy me every single article of clothing that I touched, not I kept telling her not to. She was not happy about that.

When we got to the play area, it was empty. I ran around with Liam for a while, but he was being naughty, and kept running out into the open mall, and I had to chase after him. There is a ramp and some stairs right outside of the play area, and he always runs toward them, which is frustrating and exhausting. My mom sat at the opposite end of the play area, taking videos and pictures the entire time. As we were going to leave, I asked her if I could see them to send some to myself, but she told me that she had deleted all of them, because none came out.

Well, okay then…

We left the play area, and my mom insisted on going into the mall bookstore to look at children’s books and puzzles for Liam. I saw so many books that I wanted to get for him, but I let my pride and my bad attitude take charge, and wouldn’t let my mom get any of them for him.

I don’t know why. I really don’t. I wanted them, he wanted them, and she wanted to buy them. I said no. What is wrong with me? Ugh.

I headed to the bathroom to change Liam, and my mom disappeared. When I came out, I was stopped by a young couple with a tiny baby, and we chatted a bit about babies and whatnot, before I went back to Sears. Luckily, Kyle was there this time, and he gave me the details on our dinner plans for the night. We were to meet his mom and step father at Applebee’s at 5:30, which was an hour from that point, and then he would be meeting us there at 6:00, after he got off work. I gave him a hug and kiss, and he got some cuddles from Liam, and I went back out to meet my mom and let her know what was happening.

Since we had an hour to kill, we decided to head to a local park that I had been to before, but had never visited the playground. It is a massive plot of land, with a cute lake, a bunch of walking trails, and a large playground, lined with sand, and surrounded by grass and trees. It is a beautiful park, and I wish we lived closer. Liam was barefoot, and as I placed him down on the grass, I remembered that he has never walked barefoot on grass, or sand. It only took him a few minutes of funny walking to get used to the it, and enjoy it… but he definitely did not care for the feeling of sand between his toes. It was funny.

There was another mom there, and she had two little ones with her, a toddler boy, and a tiny infant. Her son was about 2.5, and he watched us closely from the picnic area while Liam was on the swing. My mom sat herself beneath a tree, and watched us from a distance. She didn’t have much interest in playing until the end of our playground adventure. After nearly 15 minutes on the swing, we decided to explore the rest of the large playground, and the other little boy joined us! Rather than telling you about it, here are some pictures I took!

So that was fun!

We left the park around 5:20 and headed to meet Kyle’s mom and step father at Applebee’s. They were already there when we pulled up, and we sat in a large corner booth, and ordered our appetizers and entrees without Kyle, since he would be joining us a bit later. I ordered the Southwest Steak and Black Bean Soup, as well as the Crispy Cheddar Bacon Potatoes, for myself, and the kid’s Chicken Grillers and broccoli for Liam. It was all super delicious. I forget what Kyle’s meal was called, I think it was one of those “Build Your Own” things, but he got sweet potato fries, a steak, and some seriously amazing looking mac ‘n cheese.

It was a nice dinner. My mom and Candace politely went back and forth over who would pay the bill, as I expected, but they settled on splitting it evenly, which I also expected. We then gathered in the parking lot to put Liam’s car seat back into our Lincoln (it’s been in my mom’s rental all week), chat about some upcoming family events, and say our goodbyes.

There were hugs, and thank yous, and my mom cried.

And then it was over. She leaves tonight, and though her plane doesn’t leave for 3 hours still, and she has been sitting at the airport for 2 hours, she did not want to come by today. I’m okay with that. I had a nice week, and it was honestly good to see her, and for her to meet Liam, but I am completely drained. I don’t know when I will see her again, but I do know that I am happy to have things go back to normal around here. We definitely work better with a thousand, or more, miles between us.

I have a few other blogs I need to write, but I don’t know when that will happen. I need rest. I need to recharge.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

Advertisements

Dream Journal 2/4/16

Present day.

I went to the salon with Kyle’s mom to get my hair done. The women at the salon all knew her, and were super friendly to her, but completely ignored me. She decided that she wanted to go tanning first, and went into the back with one of the girls, leaving me alone.

One of the stylists cat me in the chair and asked me what I wanted. I was just getting a trim, but decided that I wanted to dye my hair, which is normally medium brown, to a dark auburn color. The woman told me that she was going to have to bleach my hair, and I told her that I had dyed me hair hundreds of times, and had done this color before, and my hair definitely didn’t need to be bleached. She scowled at me and proceeded to mix the dye for my hair. She put it on quickly, and put a plastic cap over my head. Several minutes later, she took the cap off and my hair was WHITE. I screamed, and yelled at her for bleaching my hair. She just laughed. I demanded that she fix it, or I would call the police and file assault charges on her (I guess that’s a thing?). She scoffed, but agreed.

I repeated to her the color that I wanted, and se told me that would be impossible, since my hair was now bleached. She put the dye on anyway, and covered it with a cap. When she removed it, the top half of my hair was BRIGHT purple, and then changed very abruptly to white on the bottom half. All of the girls working in the salon laughed at me, and I stormed out. I waited in front of the building to hours, until Kyle’s mom came out. She took one look at me, and laughed. I started crying, and told her that I wanted to walk home. And she just left.

My phone rang, and it was the police station, saying that the woman who did my hair was claiming that I threatened to kill her, which was not true. They asked my location, and I hung up the phone. I started running down the highway, but I could see a roadblock of police cars in the distance. I ran into the ditch, and hid in the woods that lined the highway. I watched the police, who were later joined by all the girls from the salon, until the sun started to set. Then, I turned and started walking deeper into the woods.

I remember being in a large clearing, littered with tree roots…

And then I woke up.

Family Drama, Car Drama, Drama Drama Drama!

Hello, friends. I have something that I just need to rant about for a minute, if you don’t mind. As some of you may recall, back in September, our Ford Mustang suddenly stopped running, leaving us without a vehicle. At the time, I was still not working, and Kyle was only working one job, and we had no funds to get it fixed, let alone enough for a new car. After going to multiple banks and lenders, and coming away without a single loan for a cheap vehicle, we were forced to ask Kyle’s mother for rides. We reached out to friends and family, to anyone who would help us out, and maybe work with us on payments for a vehicle, as Kyle was about to start working at his second job, a distribution center, and we would soon have enough to make payments on a car.

In late September, Kyle’s aunt informed us that she and her wife had been trying to sell their 2009 Dodge Journey for a while, and had been unsuccessful. Kyle had just started working at the DC, and his paychecks were phenomenal, so when they told us that they only had $5500 left to pay on the vehicle, and we could pay $275 a month for it, we decided that it was within our price range. We even decided to pay $300 a month, since that would help pay it off faster. We realized that we had lost the key for the Mustang, and had to sell it for $800 less than the price we were hoping to get for it. We later found the key, of course.

Some drama went down between Kyle’s aunt and her wife, and we almost didn’t get the vehicle, because they were fighting, and just to spite us, her wife said that we couldn’t have the vehicle. We were so upset. You can read all about that drama in this post. Well, it ended up all kind of working out in the end, and we got the vehicle. The Journey was massive compared to our Mustang. There was so much room in the back seat, and in the back. It was such an upgrade.

12029075_1074336689243382_101735342_n

Of course, just like everything else in our life, days later, it started falling apart. We’ve had to take it to several garages, one of which was over an hour away, because his aunt wanted us to use her guys, to fix issues that we were unaware of when we got the vehicle, and have had to pay more in repairs than we’ve paid for the vehicle itself so far. Kyle, who is unable to contain his urges to vent on social media, mentioned car troubles in a status, which caused a shit storm of drama from his mom, grandmother, sister, and aunt, who always seem to find a reason to gang up and attack him. They began putting words in his mouth, and calling us ungrateful, etc. What was his status that caused all of this?

“I just want a vehicle that runs.”

THAT. That was it. Luckily, it blew over pretty quickly.

We were on track to finish paying off the car later this month, once Kyle gets his tax return, but then more shit happened. Of course! Just a few days ago, Kyle asked his aunt to check how much exactly was left to pay on the vehicle, so we would know how much we would have left after paying it off. Her response? $5700. We somehow owe $5700 on a vehicle that we were originally told was going to cost us $5500, that we’ve been making $300 payments on since September. I’m no mathematician, but WHAT?

Now, I know there’s a chorus of voices out there saying something about interest, blah blah blah. Well, we were NEVER told any of this. We were told (and have written proof), that she owed $5500, and that is how much we had to pay. Had we known that it would be over $1000 more than that, we never would have gotten it. Apparently, we also owe more because we are not paying in cash, which would be impossible for us since her bank is over an hour away from us. All of this information was held from us, until we asked about it on that day, and she made us feel like idiots for not knowing all of this. We are furious. Because now, not only will we not be able to pay this piece of garbage vehicle off with our tax returns, but we will still owe more on it, and definitely won’t be able to get the washer and dryer that we were planning on getting, which we DESPERATELY need. So, yea, we’re pissed off.

After Kyle had a word with his aunt, she texted his mom to whine about us (without giving her all the facts, mind you), who then stuck her nose into it, and started bitching about how grateful we should be that we even got a vehicle. A vehicle that we can’t afford, mind you, because we were lied to about the total amount owed, and because we’ve had to put nearly a grand into it in repairs, in just a few months. And we should be grateful? Grateful that she lied to us, and took advantage of us, because she knew how desperate we were? Um, hell no.

We could have kept getting rides until Kyle had saved up a few paychecks to get a vehicle. We would have been fine. But they insisted, and we were excited, because it seemed like a nice vehicle, within our price range. Boy, were we wrong.

So, we’ve been looking into getting a new vehicle. Kyle has been trying to get a small loan, since he now has a decent credit score, but has had no luck, once again. Luckily, we found a guy who is willing to hold a 2005 Lincoln LS for us until Kyle gets his money. It really is a nice car, with only 100k miles (half the amount that the Journey has), and automatic everything. After a bit of negotiating, they agreed on a price of $3200 for it, which includes the cost of title and plates. The dealer apparently knows Kyle from his automotive class back in the high school, and has his own dealership. We had to put down a $100 deposit to hold it, which Kyle was more than happy to do. Our plan is to fully pay off that car with Kyle’s tax return, and then sell the Journey for the remaining amount that we owe, or as close as we can get to it, and be rid of that piece of crap for good. The only problem is that we don’t have the title, his aunt does, of course. So whoever we sell it to will have to wait a bit for them to send us the title, once it is paid off, if she doesn’t sign it over to us beforehand. There’s nothing else we can really do, right?

This has all been so frustrating. Kyle really likes the LS, but I am a bit disappointed about giving up the roominess of the Journey. But, I suppose it is for the best. I am so tired of this drama, and so tired of being called ungrateful, and being judged for no reason. I just want a freaking vehicle that we can all fit into comfortably, that runs well, and that we can fit our damn stroller in. Seriously!

Ugh. I guess that’s it. I’ll update you guys if anything changes or progresses with this situation. This little beauty should hopefully be ours within a month or so, unless something else goes horribly wrong.

00J0J_hIqPDMoPQeu_600x450

Thanks for reading, friends. Sorry about the rant.

Jan