Dream Journal 5/25/18 | Leave Me Alone

I was back in Maine, visiting my grandmother at her old house, that she hasn’t lived in for 15 years.

Dream Journal 3/2/17 | Will Smith

I was walking through a large store by myself, just browsing around in the women’s clothing section, when I saw a man pacing angrily through the aisles of greeting cards. The man was wearing a gray beanie, dark sunglasses, and a leather coat. He was shouting angrily about there being no one around to help him, and cursing under his breath. Despite him seeming slightly terrifying, I walked over to him and asked if he needed help looking for a specific card. I told him that I used to work in the store, and might be able to help him. He just stared at me for a few seconds before dramatically ripping off his sunglasses, and saying, “Get the fuck away from me.”

I stared for a moment, completely in shock. It was Will Smith. Will Smith was the man angrily pacing through the greeting card aisle. Will Smith had just cursed at me and told me to get away from him. I calmly asked him if he was sure he didn’t need any help, and he started hollering incoherently at me. I backed away and quickly retreated back to the women’s clothing section. I was shaking, and felt a strange mix of confusion and excitement. There was a girl nearby who was folding shirts on a table, and I walked over to her and told her that Will Smith was in the store. She got excited and said she wanted to say hello to him, but when I told her what happened, so said we had to warn the other employees.

We walked over to the Electronics department, where a really young guy was working at the counter. He literally only looked 12 or 13 years old. As we were telling him that Will Smith was in the store, Will Smith walked by, and before we could warn him that the guy was kind of an unstable jerk, he ran up to him, excitedly asking him to take a picture. Will Smith looked over at me and the other girl, and started shouting that I was stalking him, and that this was all my fault, and whatnot. I stood there, completely frozen, while security showed up to drag him away, still screaming obscenities in my direction.

Then, I was at home. I was sitting at my computer, and Facebook Messenger popped up. I didn’t know the person, but they sent me a link to an online blog, run by Will Smith. In his most recent blog post, he wrote a scathing article about how I was stalking him, and harassing him, and had gotten him removed from a store. He mentioned me by name, and there were pictures of me as well. I was horrified. I never told him my name, and how did he even get the pictures?

I read through the comments, and there were at least a dozen people with “Jan” or “Janise” (my name) in their screen names, all claiming to be me, and all saying horrible things, and making me look bad. There were links being posted to other blogs, social networks, and even YouTube, where people were pretending to be me. I tried writing a comment, apologising to Will Smith, and telling him this was all a huge misunderstanding, but as soon as I hit enter, I was flooded by horrible, mean replies. Most people thought I was another fake.

I started crying, and closed the blog post. Back on Facebook, I had another two dozen messages waiting for me, all from strangers, all with links to these other sites where people were pretending to be me. Trying to twist the situation, and tell “their side” of the story, trying to get attention. I clicked on a few of the YouTube links, and saw girls of every age, ethnicity, etc. impersonating me, making me look awful. It didn’t make any sense.

It went on like that for a while. Endless videos, endless tweets, endless blog posts, all people trying to garner attention for themselves, while destroying my good name.

After a while, I woke up.

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Dream Journal 7/15/16 | Blood and Mold

[Dream #1]

I was in a large warehouse style store, and I was trying to pull something off of a shelf, and a ton of random stuff fell down on top of me. A bunch of people rushed over to pull me out of the pile, and when I came out, my face was covered in blood, and one of the workers started screaming that my eye was missing. I started to panic, but discovered that my eye wasn’t missing, it was actually cracked open, like it was made of glass.

Dream Journal 5/26/16 | Closeout

I was working for a large warehouse-style store, and it was my store’s last day open. Most of the employees had already left, and there were only a handful of us left. My boss, a very tall, attractive, blonde woman, kept coming up to me, interrupting my various tasks, to tell me to get more things done before we closed the doors for good. I was getting angrier and angrier, because she was letting people leave, but giving me more stuff to do. She was also bothering my friend Travis (who I haven’t seen since… 7th grade or so, and doesn’t even live in the same state as me), and he came over to ask me if I wanted to just walk out with him, since it was our last day anyway. I agreed.

As we were walking across the store, which was basically an endless warehouse, I stopped to hug all of my co-workers, and started getting really emotional, talking about how we would never see each other again, and reminiscing about all the good times we had working together. After the 15th or 16th person I stopped to talk to, Travis walked away, and I lost him in the store. I kept walking toward the exit, saying goodbye to people, getting more and more emotional. I stepped outside of the store, into the sunshine, and the street in front of me was completely empty. In the distance, I saw a guy I knew named Elliott (from the show Leverage), and I chased after him because I needed to say goodbye to him. I kept calling his name, but he wouldn’t turn around, and I couldn’t catch up to him.

Suddenly, I was walking, and Travis was walking next to me, and he was angry with me for not giving a hug goodbye. I told him that I was trying to catch up to Elliott to say goodbye to him, and he stopped walking, and told me Elliott was a jerk. I ignored him and kept walking, and he started calling after me.

And then I woke up.

Dream Journal 1/3/16

(I’ve been meaning to write out several entries from my dream journal, and finally have time to do it. Here is the final.)

Present day.

I am walking around a large hobby/craft store with my friend Dominique, who I worked with years ago, and haven’t seen in quite some time. Her little boy, Aaron, was also with us. The store did not have a normal roof, instead, it was a large, transparent dome, and we could see the sunny skies above.

Dominique and I were talking about our ex-boyfriends, and it was really upsetting. I don’t want to go into detail, but things got really deep, and sad. Aaron was talking to a little girl, and brought her over to us and told Dominique that he wanted to marry her. She got upset and shouted at the little girl, telling her that he was only seven years old. She ran away crying, and Dominique started laughing. I looked horrified.

Then, we were in an aisle lined with fake flowers, and there were petals floating down from the dome roof, and it was beautiful. Aaron was angry with Dominique, and was calling her a horrible person and a bitch, and she was ignoring him and picking out flowers, as if nothing had happened.

When we went to check out, the old woman at the counter glared at us, and mumbled something racist (Dominique and Aaron are not white), and Aaron threw his shoe at her face, which set off an alarm. Then we ran out the front door, and got into Dominique’s car, just as a dozen police cruisers pulled up.

Then we drove away, as if it didn’t even happen.

We were driving in the country, Dominique and Aaron were arguing. I think we were going to a park, or maybe a pond… or something.

And then I woke up.

Dream Journal 9/30/15

Present day/present age.

I was the new manager in a huge store, which looked eerily similar to a Super Target, only it was two stories, and was so much cooler.

I was sitting in the coffee shop inside the store, waiting for my drink, and I was watching the young barista be really rude to everyone waitng in the line. She was shouting and cussing, and no one was reacting or doing anything about it. I didn’t want to do anything about it, since no one knew who I was apparently, so I just got my coffee and walked around the store.

I was drinking my coffee on this obscenely large esclator, when someone bumped into me, spilling my coffee all over my khaki pants. The coffee stain was unrealistically massive, and I got really angry because he didn’t even apologize to me.

I got off the escalator and approached an employee, telling him that there was a spill on the escalator, and he told me to, “Fuck off.” I just stared at him for a minute and walked away.

Then I was sitting in the break room, watching a weird, coloring movie on a big-screen TV on the wall, when a guy sat next to me and started talking to me. I told him who I was and that I was everyone’s new boss, and he got really angry and walked out. Then my walkie went off and someone announced that there was a food fight happening in the grocery section.

When I got there, the barista from before was holding a really big bowl filled with some kind of batter or sauce or something, and she was just throwing it at everyone, but they were all laughing. There was a pedestal next to me with another bowl, and when I went to pick it up, everyone looked at me, and the guy from the break room started screaming for everyone to run, and they all ran from me. I didn’t know why.

I put the bowl down and went back to the break room, but I was stopped by a customer who was complaining about the coffee spill on the escalator, which had now turned into a stream of coffee just flowing down the steps. I told the woman that I was a manager and  that I would have someone clean it, and she just walked away. I went to go find someone to clean the spill, but the store was completely empty, even all the customers were gone.

Then I walked back into the break room to see if I could find anyone, and the guy from before was in there kissing another employee, and they looked at me angrily when I went in and left the room together, so I sat and watched the movie I was watching before and ate a bowl of pretzels and popcorn that was sitting on the table.

I could hear someone singing a weird song over the walkie, and people were starting to come back into the break room.

And then I woke up.