Small Stones 8/23/16

It hurts.

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All it took was one lie, repeated over and over, to cast a dark shadow over an otherwise bright day. Continue reading “Small Stones 8/23/16”

Three Day Quote Challenge | Day Two

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
Ernest Hemingway
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The Challenge

Hello, friends. Welcome to day two of my ‘Three Day Quote Challenge’! You can read my quote from day one by clicking here. For today’s quote, I chose this one by the famous Earnest Hemingway, who I learned quite a bit about in high school and college. I like this quote, because it is so simple, and so powerful. I’ve dealt with trust issues throughout most of my life, stepping from issues with both of my parents, as well as my own insecurities with friends, and within relationships. I’ve been hurt, but haven’t we all? It’s taken me a long time to learn to trust again, and it was scary.

No one likes being hurt. But you can’t go through your entire life being afraid to trust those around you, especially the ones you choose to let into your private life. If you don’t give them your trust, then why should they give you theirs? Being hurt, and being betrayed, is a part of life, but it makes you stronger. And smarter. Smart enough to see the signs of when someone isn’t worthy of your trust. Don’t life your life in fear, take the leap, and choose trust. If you don’t trust anyone, you will drive those away who may be worthy of your trust, and your heart.

Here is a recap of the rules of this challenge::

  1. Post in three consecutive days.
  2. You can pick one or three quotes per day.
  3. Challenge three different bloggers per day.

Just like yesterday, I would like to nominate the following three individuals to participate in the ‘Three Day Quote Challenge’, if they so choose:

  1. Jess
  2. Annette
  3. Matt

I really hope you guys will participate, and share with your internet friends some quotes that have had an impact on you in some way. If you can’t, that’s okay, too! I look forward to reading your posts, and to sharing more quotes with you all!

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

Daily Prompt 1/22/2016 | My Favorite

The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt 1/22/2016 | My Favorite

What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your favorite person? Tell us about it.”

Hours. Just a few hours.

I have never left my son with anyone, other than his father. Ever. Even with his father, it was only for 15-20 minutes so that I could shower, or an hour or two so that I could nap. The thought of leaving him alone with anyone makes me anxious, and when I am away from him, it gets worse. I thought this feeling of separation anxiety would dissipate after a few months, but it hasn’t. Not even a little. Even on our worst days, when I want to scream and cry and give up, I can’t fathom the thought of leaving him with anyone else. Here are a few reasons why I feel this way:

1) Nobody knows him like I do. Nobody. Kyle has had little part in our day-to-day lives. He’s changed a total of 6 diapers over the course of a year (none of them poopy), and has never cooked for, or fed, Liam. He doesn’t know how much of what to give him, or what he likes and dislikes. He’s never put him to bed, brushed his teeth, or given him a bath either. So you can see why leaving him alone with him would cause me stress.

2) Liam has stranger anxiety. Even with his dad, if I’m gone for more than a few minutes, he gets upset. He loves his daddy, but being away from me is stressful for him. He still doesn’t really let anyone hold him, and if he does, it is only for a few minutes. The idea of leaving him at someone’s house, or at daycare, terrifies me. I’m afraid that once I leave, he will cry and cry and cry, and will never stop, and they will hate him.

3) Trust. I’ve seen how much Kyle’s mother spoils our niece, even against her mother’s wishes. I’ve heard her say candy/cookies/soda, etc. and then Kyle’s mother turns around and gives her whatever she wants. Now she is a spoiled 4-year old who throws tantrums at every little thing. I don’t want that. I don’t buy into the whole “grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids” crap. No. If the PARENT tells you that they can’t have something, you need to respect that. You’re teaching the child that what mommy and daddy says doesn’t matter, as long as grandma says yes. Big no-no.

4) Past experiences. Now, this is a bit more of a stretch, but on more than one occasion, I encountered abuse at the hands of a caregiver as a child. Completely normal, seemingly nice people. I’d like to think that Liam’s grandmother, father, a babysitter, or whoever, would never think of hitting him out of frustration, or for any other reason… but you never know how people will handle the strain of a crying baby, even if they’ve dealt with it in the past. This terrifies me.

Am I crazy? Overprotective? Maybe. Probably. I don’t know. I will need to go back to work some day, and I’m hoping that Liam starts warming up to strangers by the time that needs to happen.

Any other parents have anxiety over leaving their babies with someone else? My son will be one tomorrow, and this fear is not letting up at all.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan