Little Milestones | 3 Years Old

24131116_10210594156149602_8596418702847425750_nHello, friends! I can’t believe that it is already time to make another post like this one. It feels like just a few months ago, I was typing up all of his little details for Little Milestones | 2 Years Old, and talking about all of the wonderful things that make my little guy so unique and special, but it was actually nearly a year ago that it went up.

My little guy will be 3 years old this January, and I still can’t believe it. I’ve been totally immersed in the world of motherhood for nearly three years now, and it still blows my mind that I actually created, birthed, and am raising this incredible, tiny human. Seriously. What?!

As they say, ‘There’s no use fixing what ain’t broken!’, so I’ll just go with the old tried and true layout, and give you all the fun, little updates on Liam!

21200572_10210001431411854_6185481290188720456_oThe Basics:
Liam will turn 3 years old on January 23, 2018. Yes, this post is early, but I predict a lot of chaos and busy days in our near future, so I thought I would type it up now. As of today, he is 36.5 pounds, and 38 inches tall. Yes, you read that correctly, he is still a giant. He has been in the >99th percentile since he was an infant, and there he has stayed. Tall and skinny. People always mistake him for a much older kid, and when he’s around kids his own age at the park, he towers over them. He wears all 4T clothing, but because he is so skinny, he can only wear pants with an adjustable or elastic waist, which makes finding cute jeans for him a little difficult. He also wears a size 11 shoe, and a size 6 diaper (no, he still isn’t fully potty trained).

Physical Development:23130470_10210419764109910_523084360651172517_n
I’m not really sure what to report on in this department, since he’s pretty grown up now. He’s a completely normal, very active, little boy! He absolutely hates being cooped up indoors, and he loves to run, jump, climb, roll, etc. You name it! He has a tricycle that he loves to ride, and he is getting really great at it. We also bought him a big boy bike for Christmas, the same one that he makes us let him ride every time we go to Walmart, and I can’t wait for him to open it on Christmas morning, and ride it outside, weather permitting. So excited! He also loves to kick around a ball, and has quite an arm when it comes to throwing. Still not the best catcher, but he’s getting there!

23334026_10210457234526647_2127401246525586559_oEmotional & Social Development:
If you’ve been here for a while, you know that my son has always been shy. Whether it was other adults, like his grandparents, aunts, or strangers, or even bigger kids, he never wanted anything to do with them. No hugs, no kisses, no conversation. Around 2 years old, he started to come out of his shell a little, and would give hugs and kisses to his grandparents, with a little coaxing, and would play with his older cousin, but he was still quiet. Well, boy, has THAT changed!

He is still initially shy around strangers, but he warms up much quicker now, especially if it is a child. He runs up to other children at the park, or on the playground, and actively searches for someone to play with, even older kids. He loves his grandparents, and his aunts, and his cousin, and will talk about them when they aren’t around, and ask me where they are. Once he gets comfortable around you, he will talk your ear off about anything and everything under the sun. He also really loves dogs. And cats. And squirrels. And birds. And frogs. The list goes on!

21688280_10210072734914397_769482350804235782_oLearning & Vocabulary:
I’m ashamed to admit that I have been slacking a little bit in the teaching department lately. With no real preschool in our area, and no money to send him to one even if there were, I have chosen to keep him home until kindergarten, and teach him everything he needs to learn in preparation for that day, which is still a few years away. He’s still an incredibly intelligent, inquisitive little boy, and I answer every question he asks me. And he asks a lot of questions.

22366363_10210250608921136_6752017998646896871_nHe can identify the entire alphabet, both uppercase and lowercase letters, and can count up to 17. He loves counting things around him, but often counts objects twice. He knows his colors, and his shapes, and can name an obscene amount of animals by name. He speaks in complete sentences, like, “I love you very much, mama.” and “Are we going to grandma’s house?”, but sometimes he will miss a pronoun or a determiner here and there. He also really likes using adjectives, and describing things in great detail.

22140798_10210208065617580_3179085312112051094_nFoods & Eating:
Over the past year, Liam has gone from eating everything in sight, to only eat one of two foods for a week or two, back to eating like a linebacker. Currently, he’s right in the middle. A bit picky with his vegetables, but still loves his fruits. He also doesn’t like anything with a lot of sauce, or anything gooey or mushy (i.e. mashed potatoes). Here’s a list of the things that he eats fairly regularly, without a fuss:

– Pickles, especially baby dill pickles
– Green and yellow apples, whole or sliced
– Applesauce with cinnamon
– Black Olives
– Green beans
– Mandarin oranges
– Bananas
– Strawberries
– Any and every kind of pizza, including veggie!
– Popcorn chicken
– Breaded chicken nuggets
– Ham
– Rotini or penne pasta with butter and garlic
– Any kind of oatmeal, especially blueberry or strawberry
– Grilled ham and cheese/grilled cheese
– Peanut butter and jelly

His current favorite foods are baby dill pickles, because… well, he’s my son, and we are pickle people, and bananas. Once and awhile, I can get him to eat some peas, or corn, or carrots, but not without a fight. He also doesn’t really like meats that much. No fish, or chicken, or pork chops, etc. Not sure why. Also, like every other kid on the planet, he loves candy, chocolate, sweets, etc., but we try to limit them to holidays (Halloween, Easter, etc.), or as a special treat. No judgement here, don’t worry, it’s just that both his dad and I have really soft, sensitive teeth, and a looong history with cavities, and we are trying to prevent that for him!

20245594_10209720513109072_4637555785611636180_nPotty Training:
We started casually potty training right before Liam’s 2nd birthday, just to get him used to his potty, and teach him that that’s where people go… and it has been pretty up and down ever since. This summer, we made a big potty chart, complete with stickers, and put it up on the wall. Liam was doing really well for a few months. He would wake up dry, and would successfully use the potty anywhere from 1-4 times a day. He even pooped in the potty a couple times. Things were going smoothly, and he loved putting his stickers on the board…

Then, he suddenly decided that he no longer wanted anything to do with it. He was back to waking up with a full diaper, not wanting to ever sit on the potty, and not telling me when he had to go. So, he’s still in diapers. Throughout the day, like when he wakes up in the morning, before and after naptime, and before bed, I will try to get him to sit on the potty, but half the time he fights me. It’s frustrating. I’ll keep trying, especially since he’s wearing a size 6 diaper, and there isn’t a size bigger than that, but it looks like we’re doing this when he’s ready, not when I want it to happen.

21273314_10210008852597379_4857459591956342513_oNaps and Bedtime Routine:
I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. My kid is an AMAZING sleeper. He has been sleeping through the night since he was around 6 months old, and has always been really good about going to bed on time. Our bedtime and nap routines haven’t changed much in the last year. He naps for 2-3 hours after lunch almost every day, he takes 3 baths a week, about an hour before bedtime, and we always ready 1-2 short stories before he goes to sleep, both for his nap and for bedtime. His absolute favorite story, which we read every other night, is Winnie the Pooh: A Game of Pooh Sticks. I have it memorized. He loves all of his Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse books, and those are what we tend to read the most. Bedtime is still between 7 and 7:30, unless we get stuck out late for some reason, and he generally falls asleep pretty quickly, unless the neighbors are being noisy, or he is sick or something. He wakes up anywhere between 7:30 and 9 in the morning. Crazy, right? It’s so wonderful.

He still sleeps in his crib, and still has zero interest in sleeping in his big boy bed, which has been sitting in his room, completely set up, since last Christmas. He has yet to try and get out of his crib though, so I guess I don’t see any rush to try and get him to sleep in his bed.

23561441_10210483330059019_216604169925580667_nPlaytime and Activities:

Still as active and playful as ever! Some of Liam’s favorite things to do include walking to our local park and playground, riding his trike around the house (it’s been too cold to go outside lately), playing with his many Hot Wheels cars on his car playmat, building with his blocks, coloring and drawing, and watching TV. I’ll just get this out of the way right now, and say that, yes, I do let my son watch TV, and I don’t particularly care if you agree with it or not.

20245601_10209671673928123_4937049363402040020_nLiam loves shows like Curious George, LeapFrog, and Octonauts, and has learned a lot from them. These TV shows, geared toward teaching, get him talking about subjects and things that don’t normally come up in everyday conversation, and I love that! He also has a big bin filled with animals and dinosaurs, and he loves dumping them out and playing with them as well. He loves animals!

I suppose that’s it! Every day, I find my heart being filled with more and more love for my little boy, and even on the days where he acts like he is 2 years old, going on 15 years old, he is the best. Even on his worst days, he is the best, and I love him to pieces.

Thanks for reading, friends!

Jan (and Liam)


My Trip to the Emergency Room

Hello, friends. I wish I had something happy and fun to share with you today, but I don’t. Recently, I’ve been dealing with some health issues. On Thursday, I spent 6 hours in the emergency room. Continue reading My Trip to the Emergency Room


I have been having a hard time lately. With just about everything. Honestly, I don’t even know where to start. I know I haven’t been blogging much these days, mostly because I can’t. I just can’t bring myself to do it. And who would want to read any of it anyway? I have had no energy, no motivation, and when I’m not taking care of my toddler, I’m lying on the couch, over-thinking, or taking depression naps. What a life.

So, here we go.

I was recently given the startling news that my father, grandfather, all my grandfather’s siblings, and my great-grandmother all have/had a rare form of muscular dystrophy, called OPMD. It is genetic (obviously), and there is a 50% chance that I have it. There is also a 50% chance that my brother and two sisters have it as well. And if I have it, there’s a 50% chance my son does as well. The night my grandmother told me, completely out of the blue, an hour before bedtime, I was shaken up. Really shaken up. I spent the next several hours on Google, reading up on the condition, trying to wrap my head around what to expect if/when symptoms occur. I didn’t fall asleep until nearly 3:00 in the morning.

If you want to learn more about the condition, you can click here. I won’t go into details. I’ve calmed down since getting the news, after doing my own research (let’s just say, my grandmother is extremely dramatic, and she made it seem like I 100% had it, and was in for a life of misery, which is not the case). The term “muscular dystrophy” is terrifying, but as far as these types of conditions go, this one isn’t as severe as others. It mainly affects the eyes and facial muscles, but can cause weakness in other parts of the body. Normally, it OPMD doesn’t present symptoms until the 40s to 60s, if at all. My grandfather and father  only recently started displaying symptoms. There is no cure or treatment, but with modern science, who knows what will be possible if/when it presents itself in me.

Next up, relationship crap. As I’m sure some of you know, Kyle started a new job a few months back. He leaves for work very early, and is back before dinner. You’d think this would be great, but it isn’t. He’s always exhausted, and always on edge and cranky. He passes out early every night, and we barely talk anymore. When we do talk, it always seems to turn into an immature fight. I’ve been getting swallowed alive by my depression lately, and struggling to keep up with housework and our toddler, and whenever I ask him to help with anything, it turns into a fight. A fight, and then the silent treatment. He gets defensive about everything, and it is wearing me out. I don’t want to bad mouth him. I know he works hard when he is at work, but he puts in zero effort at home. I’m struggling. I need HELP. But he won’t help me. And I am tired. So, so tired.

On top of all of these things that I need to process and over-think about, my normally sweet, little boy, who turned two at the end of January, is fully immersed in his “terrible twos” phase, and on most days, he really wears me out. Emotionally and physically. Once again, it’s just me with him. Always. Just. Me. 24/7. The weather has been bleak and wet, and we have been trapped inside most days of the week, which takes its toll on both of us. He gets worked up, bounces off the walls, gets sassy and cranky… and I’m so freaking tired, you guys. Always tired.

I’ve been feeling like an absolute failure in every aspect of my life lately. My relationship, my family, my health, my hobbies. Myself. Everything. The only little glimmers of happiness that I have found have been when Liam chooses to share how much he has learned lately. I have been trying hard to teach him his numbers and letters, whenever he sits still for just a second, which seems to never happen. But then, sometimes, we’ll be driving in the car, or eating lunch, and he will just start counting to 10, or correctly naming the letters on TV or in his books, or babbling out actual, tiny sentences, and forming coherent thoughts. Those are the moments that make me feel alright. Make me feel like I’m not a total failure.

I recently got this message from someone in Kyle’s family. Someone I have never met, and who has very opposing views to my own. She is very opinionated, and apparently does not approve of stay-at-home moms. At first, I was a little irritated at the tone in her message, because she blatantly stated that she thinks women who stay home to be stay-at-home moms are not “okay”, but then, I realised that it was a compliment.


Nobody becomes a parent to get praise from strangers, or from family. And, honestly, I shouldn’t care about what other people think about my life, or my parenting. But, in the moment, I needed this. She doesn’t know anything about my struggles. About my relationship, or my depression, or how my toddler, who I absolutely adore, can drive me to tears with his craziness. She just sees a mother, who works hard to teach her baby boy the things he needs to know. High praise.

I have no one I can talk to about any of this crap. No one I can just sit down and bitch with. I’ve been dealing with shitty, fake friends lately, and I’ve decided to just stop trying to befriend people who will only hurt me in the end. I’m 27 years old now, I don’t need to deal with that high school bullshit. I don’t need “friends” who stalk my social media, take screen shots of things I say, and pass them around to all their friends, so they can tweet passive aggressively about me, and pass judgment on situations they know nothing about. If that sounded a bit specific, that’s because that’s exactly what I’ve been dealing with for the last several months, and I am done with it. So I removed these people from my life, and haven’t looked back.

That’s just my luck. It’s hard for me to make friends, and even harder for me to keep them. People just don’t like me. They always have a problem with my negativity, with my anxiety, with my depression, with my opinions, with how I parent. They just have a problem with me. So, I am alone. Always. Fucking. Alone. I don’t have friends. I don’t have anyone I can trust, or confide in. Even worse, are the ones who feel pity on me, so they reach out, and say that they are there for me, that they care, when they really don’t. They don’t care at all. They just think that they can send a few positive messages, fix all my problems, and feel great about themselves. That’s not how it works, folks. You can’t just lure me into a false sense of security, a false sense of friendship, and then decide that it’s not worth the effort. That I’m not worth the effort. That’s cruel. So fucking cruel. And all day long, all I see are stupid memes and pictures of shit best friends supposedly do, and people just tag each other in them, and talk about all the good times they have, and knowing that I will never have that hurts.

If it weren’t my only form of communication with people that weren’t literal toddlers (even if they act like them from time to time), I’d just delete my social media. It’s so pointless.

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. That’s where I’m at in my life. Alone. Hurting. Struggling. Pathetic.

Thanks for reading.