Dream Journal 8/20/17 | Halloween

I was in a large common area with a bunch of other people my age. All along the walls were numerous, small kitchen units, which looked outdated, yet were somehow futuristic.

Dream Journal 5/9/17 | Scavengers

[Hello, friends! For those of you who don’t know, my horrible neighbors from across the hall have finally moved out!

Small Stones 8/28/16

Three more days.

Dream Journal 7/21/16 | Yard Sale

I was pulling an old couch out of a large house, which was presumably mine, and dragging it to the curb. A woman asked me how much I wanted it, and I told her it was trash, and she shrugged and started dragging it away. I starting calling to her, telling her that she couldn’t just take it, but she ignored me. My mom walked out of the house behind me, and asked me what happened. I told her, and said that maybe we should have a yard sale to get rid of all of our old junk, since people apparently wanted it.

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From Sunshine to Storming

Hello, friends.

Yesterday was… well, it was something. For the last couple of days, Kyle and I had been compiling a list of projects and things to buy that we wanted to complete on Friday (yesterday), since it was his one day off. I’ve really been stressing out about my mom’s visit, so I’ve been pushing to get as much done as possible around the house. Since Kyle’s other job put him back into a full-time position, he’s been working a lot more, and hasn’t been able to help me with some of the bigger projects I want to do, so yesterday was our big push day. We still had plenty of money in savings to spend on some needed things, thanks to his new hours, so we were excited to get it all done.

Our to do list for yesterday was:
1) Lower Liam’s crib
2) Clean out the hallway closet and laundry room (both still filled with boxes of crap from when we moved in 1.5 years ago…)
3) Clean out our kitchen junk drawer
4) Finish the dishes and throw out old/unwanted dishes
5) Hang my new paper towel holder
6) Fix and install our AC unit
7) Buy a new organizer for Liam’s room so I could re-organize his stuff
8) Buy new throw pillows for the couch
9) Vacuum and deep clean the living room carpet
10) Transfer Kyle’s tools into his new, larger tool box, and store them away
11) Hang up my DIY scarf holder in the bedroom
12) Buy a new inner tube for my stroller tire
13) Go grocery shopping

Yeah… QUITE the list. Did I mention that we had to do all of this while Liam was awake and running loose, because it would all make too much noise if he was sleeping? That was fun. Luckily, when we put our strengths together, we make a really productive team, and in just two hours, we got all of that list done, with the exception of lowering the crib, because the ONE tool we needed, we could not find in our collection, and all of the shopping stiff, which would come later when we went out. Liam was very well-behaved the entire time!

We left the house a little after 1:00, and it was gorgeous outside. 72 degrees, sunny, and not a cloud in the sky. We stopped in at two local hardware stores to try and find a new inner tube for my stroller tire. Both places did not have the size we needed, but told us about a bike shop nearby that probably had it. Before going there, we stopped at my bank so that I could cash the check my mom sent me for my birthday (5 days!) so I could put it into Kyle’s account. The woman informed me that I couldn’t cash it all… because I only had 14 cents in my account. Oops… So I deposited some into my account, cashed the rest, and off we went.

The bicycle shop ended up being next door to a bra boutique that I had been wanting to check out for YEARS, so while Kyle went to get the inner tube, I went bra hunting with Liam. I got fitted by an amazingly nice woman, and began the process of trying on expensive pieces of cloth to cover my boobs. I’m quite a large size, so cute, cheap bras at Walmart and Target are not an option for me. I found the perfect, most amazing bra, but could only buy one due to the price. I let it be my birthday present to myself, since the inner tube only cost us $8. Kyle and Liam chatted with the ladies in the shop, who all absolutely adored my son, and then we left, happy with our finds, as well as our accomplishments thus far.

Next, we stopped at Menards to buy the tools we needed to lower the crib, and some CLR for another project I decided to add to the list. Then, we went to Arby’s and grabbed a late lunch for Kyle and I (Liam ate at home), before heading to Walmart to grab the rest of our items.

This is where things start to go bad…

As we pulled into the Walmart parking lot, Arby’s in hand, we noted that the skies had started getting darker, and clouds were rolling in. We turned off the car to quickly eat our food, but when Kyle turned the key to roll our windows up before we went in, the car would not start. We tried, and tried, and tried. Nothing. It sounded like it was trying to turn over, so it wasn’t the battery, but nothing would get this car to start. Kyle, having the temper he has, immediately got frustrated, as we have had nothing but nonstop car troubles for the last 3 years. We JUST had to have this car looked at, due to an unrelated issue we were having a few weeks ago, and now this.

We gave up, went in, and got only about half of our list, as we didn’t know the outcome of the car situation, and did not want to grab anything from the freezer. Sure enough, the car still wouldn’t start, and we had to call Kyle’s mom for a ride, and a tow truck to get our car to Sears. While waiting outside for his mom, it started pouring rain, thundering, lightning, and there was some crazy wind. We had left our coats in the car because of the nice weather, and quickly retreated in. We were still waiting, when I grabbed Liam to change his diaper, and discovered that I had started my period as well.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

The tow cost us $85 to tow it less than half a mile, but we have roadside assistance, so we won’t have to pay it, but Sears couldn’t look at it until 3pm Saturday (today). Kyle’s mom showed up, and we loaded our stuff into her van, and I had to put Liam into his cousin’s car seat in the back. Not only was it front-facing (he’s still just a bit too small for that), but the straps were twisted, uneven, the clip was caked with food and goop, and the car seat in general was filthy and sticky. I was trying to wrestle him into the car seat, which was impossible because there were cars honking at me, and almost hitting me (his mom did not park wisely…), and rain falling on me, and wind blowing me around, and my kid was NOT happy about any of it.

I finally got him in safely, climbed in the front seat, soaking wet, and we went home. We got all the groceries and items in, I thanked her for the ride, and she left to meet Kyle at Sears. Liam and I put the groceries away, realizing only then that we had left the inner tube, stroller tire, completely full drinks from Arby’s, and my sweatshirt in our car. Ugh. Nothing we could do about it at that point.

I quickly made some broccoli and a sandwich for Liam as a late dinner, only making toast for myself, despite feeling famished. Afterwards, we sat in front of the TV, watching Monster Fish, both completely exhausted from the day. I had a cramp that could have rivaled a contraction, a headache that could knock down a horse, my nerves were shot, and I was shaking. When Kyle came home, he was in an awful mood, understandably. I tried my best to play with Liam until bed time, but because he missed a nap during the day, he was a cranky mess. All he wanted to do was pull my hair, grab at my face, and hit me with one of his toy bucket, which was making me cranky. After he bit me on my leg while we were playing on the floor (he’s been teething like crazy lately), causing me to bleed, I put him down for bed half an hour early, and he passed out instantly. Not even our neighbor’s ridiculous noise woke him up. Kyle and I sat down and watched Chopped on Netflix, but ended up going to bed early as well. Luckily, Liam slept through the night, because we were SO tired.

Kyle was able to find a coworker to give him a ride to work this morning, but our car still can’t be looked at until 3pm. We don’t know what’s wrong, or how much it will cost us, but we don’t have a choice. We need the car, so we need to get the problem fixed.

So much for my birthday money… Why does this always happen to me?

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

Dream Journal 4/17/16 | Locker Room

I was attending some kind of lecture at a college campus. I was all the way in the back of a huge auditorium, with horrible acoustics, and I could not hear the speaker at all. Everyone around me was falling asleep. I stood up and clapped when everyone else did, even though I had no idea what was going on, and we all left. In the hall, a woman instructed the men to head to the men’s locker rooms and shower, and for the women to do the same. I went with the crowd of women to the locker room, where everyone started taking out gym bags filled with clothes, towels, shampoo, etc. I started to panic, as I did not have any of these things.

I went to the door to leave, but the woman was blocking the way, and told me that I HAD to shower. I asked her why, because it made no sense, and she pushed me backwards into the room. I started walking around frantically, trying to find someone who could help me, but I realized that I did not know a single woman there. After some frantic running around, I found my friend, Lindsey, and begged her to let me borrow her shampoo. She looked at me, and started laughing, telling me no. I started crying, and tried to run from the room again, but the woman guarding the door stopped me and started shouting. I shoved her, and she hit the wall behind her, and started shouting at someone to grab me before I started running.

And then I woke up.

Lindsey, I love you, but damn!

Daily Prompt 3/9/2016 | Women Not Objects

In response to The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt 3/9/2016 | Object

Hello, friends. As many of you may already know, yesterday was International Women’s Day (as well as National Free Pancake Day, which I forgot to take advantage of). I spent the entire day celebrating being a woman by falling into the trap of responding to trolling comments on articles that I stumbled upon, which is another blog post entirely.

I don’t understand why, on a day celebrating something, people feel the need to tear that thing apart in unnecessary, terrible ways. Why? I just don’t get it. I am emotionally exhausted, and honestly don’t have much more to say on the topic at this point that I haven’t already typed out 1,000 times in multiple comment sections.

Inspired by today’s one-word Daily Prompt, I thought I would share with you this powerful video that I found on Facebook about the harm caused by the objectification of women. I found it through the 4th Trimester Bodies Project Facebook page (amazing group, check them out), who shared if from fellow Facebook group Women Not Objects. Now, being a warrior for equality for all people, I wholly agree and recognize that men are also objectified in the media, but seeing as yesterday was International Women’s Day, I thought this video was appropriate to share.

Women are not objects. Women are people.

Thoughts?

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

Dream Journal 2/29/16

Past.

I was a teenager, and I was in a large barn with several other girls around my age, give or take a few years. We were all wearing large electronic collars around our necks, and were dressed in dirty, ripped clothes. A man walked in and yelled at us to stand in a straight line. We lined up, from shortest to tallest, and he grabbed the tallest girl on the end, a pretty blonde, and dragged her outside. She was screaming.

The girl to my left was crying, and she kept repeating that we needed to run, but no one would move. I grabbed her hand, and we ran to the back of the barn, where there was a large door, which was wide open. We ran out of the barn and into the woods, but the girl with me dropped to the ground and started screaming. Bolts of electricity were shooting out of her collar, and she was convulsing on the ground. I tried to roller her back toward the barn, but her body went limp and lifeless. I tried to pry my collar off with a large stick, but it wouldn’t come off.

I went back to the barn, but all of the other girls were gone, and the inside was dark. I walked in and tripped over something on the ground. I looked down and saw the body of one of the girls from the group. I covered my mouth to keep from screaming, and stumbled into one of the empty horse stalls. There was blood everywhere. I could hear the sound of a girl screaming somewhere outside, and ran toward it. The man from before was holding a gun to the head of an older woman, dressed very modestly, and she was begging him to let her go. He laughed at her, dropped the gun, and hit her with it. She fell to the ground, unconscious.

I dropped down and crawled back into the barn, and found a blowtorch in a pile of hay. I used it to burn off my collar, but it didn’t burn me. I found a black and white painted horse in one of the stalls, and rode him out of the barn. The forest looked more like a rain forest now, and there were very large, bright flowers scattered everywhere. I could hear low growling from somewhere, and my horse kept trying to buck me off of it’s back. We rode across a large bridge, made entirely of sticks and branches, yet somehow held us. There was another barn in a clearing ahead of us…

And then I woke up.