Re: The Sandman’s Q&A #2

Hello, friends! For those who don’t remember, several months ago, a fellow blogger posted a short Q&A on his blog, and invited others to join him in answering. I decided to participate, and you can read my answers here. Well, The Sandman is at it again with a second Q&A! So, I thought I would shake off these stormy weather blues, and do a bit of writing today, since things are pretty chill in my house today. You can read the questions, and my answers, below!

#1) Describe one moment from your youth that is impenetrably seared into your memory.

Honestly, my memory is pretty fuzzy when it comes to things that happened in my childhood. I’m not entirely sure why. I am able to recall certain things in vivid detail, but for the most part, there are huge gaps in my memory, where I can’t remember a damn thing. High school was particularly traumatic for me, and many of it is a blur. Middle school is basically the same story, but slightly less severe. Maybe I just didn’t care enough to retain the memories. Who knows?

There are two memories in my life that often pop into my head, presenting as vivid, flashbulb memories. The first, and possibly the earliest memory of my life, is of the backseat windows of the first car my mom ever had with me. One of the back windows had two parts, and the back part was shaped like a shark fin, and had little black dots on it. I remember looking out this window as a baby. My mom said she got rid of that car before my first birthday, and that there is no way I could have remembered it. But I do.

The second memory is from middle school. When I was in the sixth grade, I had a crush on a boy in my class, named Billy. He had an older brother, who was in the eighth grade at the time, and I liked him, too. However, neither had any interest in a relationship with me, friendship or otherwise, and were often cruel to me, teasing me, and spreading rumors about me. I had a pretty thick skin back then, and it didn’t bother me much.

Until the final dance of the school year.

I showed up alone, but immediately met up with a few friends of mine, who reassured me with urgency that everything was going to be okay. I was confused. Long story short, Billy and his brother had created a fake AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) profile, using my name, and faked a ridiculous conversation between “me” and themselves. Then, after fabricating numerous embarrassing confessions, they printed out copies of the conversation, and plastered them all over the walls of the cafeteria, where the dance was being held.

I was furious. I confronted the duo, who were sitting in the back of the cafeteria with friends, too cool to participate in the dance, while my friends took down the posters. I made it very clear that I was not embarrassed, and that I felt sorry for them for being pathetic and immature enough to put so much effort into trying to humiliate a girl they supposedly had no interest in. I got my point across. I remember telling a chaperone, who was probably a parent, and not a teacher, and they said they couldn’t do anything about it. And that was it. We took down the posters, we danced, and we moved on. I got over it. After that night, the boys never bothered me again.

#2) Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that s/he’d committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship?

Honestly, it would depend on the crime. There are many unforgivable crimes. Was it assault? Burglary? Rape? Murder?Did they go to prison, or is this a deep, dark secret? Have they turned their life around for the better? Everyone makes mistakes, and does stupid things in their lifetime, especially when they are young and stupid. I can forgive things like assault (assuming it was justified in some way, and not some sort of hate crime), certain kinds of theft, certain drug offenses, traffic violations, etc. I am a pretty forgiving person, as long as they have changed for the better, and treat me well.

However, there are things that I can not forgive. There are some crimes that are committed by people, often more than once, and it defines what kind of person they are. A lot of times, they don’t change. I won’t go into detail, but whatever you’re thinking that I’m talking about, you’re probably right. Sometimes, there are no excuses, and no coming back from something. If I discovered something horrible in their past (and chances are, they probably didn’t go to prison for it if we’re in a relationship, meaning it was a secret), I would confront them. I would hear them out. But in the end, I probably would not stay in the relationship. And, depending on the seriousness of the crime, I may even turn them in.

Well, there are my answers to The Sandman’s Q&A #2. I invite you all to answer these questions for yourselves, either in the comments, or as a pingback post. Thanks for reading, friends!

Jan