Three Line Tales: Summer

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The blinding rays of the sun kiss my pale skin, already tightening and turning pink, as I struggle to push our stroller up the hill, seeking summertime adventure.
I spot the park in the distance, like a lush oasis in this dessert of blacktop, but the moisture on my chest, combined with a bit of painful chub rub, just makes me want to return home to my air conditioned apartment.
My son laughs joyfully in his seat, arms stretched outwards, embracing the outdoors and sunshine, reminding me why I put myself through this torture.
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My weekly response for Sonya’s Three Line Tales (Week 73) writing challenge. Photo by Christian Widell via Unsplash.

#3LineTales

Dream Journal 6/7/17 | Millionaire

One morning, I woke up and discovered that I had somehow gained telekinetic powers. After a brief moment of freaking out, I decided that I was not going to tell Kyle, or anyone else for the matter, and instead immediately went to buy a PowerBall ticket.

That night, when they were picking numbers, I used my powers to make the balls with the numbers I had chosen land in the picker’s hand, and I won.

I had won 380 MILLION dollars.

I went home, and immediately began selling everything I owned, and waited for Kyle to get home. When he walked in the door, he started to panic, asking where all of our stuff was. I told him the news, and he fainted, in the most dramatic, hilarious fashion.

I never used my powers after that, for some reason.

Cut to a few weeks later. We were living in a large, beautiful house in our town, well within our price range, and Kyle had a brand new truck. We still had not told a soul that we won all this money. I had started meeting with a really nice woman at a nearby country club, and she gave me tips and tricks on how to invest my money and grow it. Within just those couple weeks, I had already grown our fortune by over 100 million dollars.

One night, Kyle, Liam, and I took a selfie together while sitting in our entertainment room, complete with movie theatre, and uploaded it to Facebook. His mom commented and asked where we were, and I casually responded that we were at home. She thought I was joking, and asked again. Again, I told her we were home. She then messaged me, confused, and I told her about the money that we had come into. She was shocked, and angry that we had hidden it from her for as long as we had, and I felt bad.

We had intended to tell everyone, but we were taking a minute to settle in, and get our life back on track after all of the major changes we underwent all at once. To make it up to her, Kyle and I bought her a new house, and threw a large, family party, where we told everyone the news.

The next day, someone leaked it to the paper, and we had people knocking on our doors, and calling our phones, all day long. So we bought new phones, and put up a large gate. Crowds of people would gather around our gate, taking pictures of our home, as if it were the White House or something.

The last thing I remember was Kyle leaving for work, and someone had keyed the word “CUNT” into the side of his truck, for some reason, so we were talking about hiring security, or possibly moving to another town where people did not know us.

And then I woke up.

Three Line Tales: Jade

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Her eyes were pale green
So I gave her the name Jade
My sweet, furry, baby girl.
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My weekly response for Sonya’s Three Line Tales (Week 70) writing challenge. Photo by Timothy Meinberg via Unsplash.

#3LineTales

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I miss you, sweet girl.

Three Line Tales: Kingdom

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I sit cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by a court of teddy bears, dinosaurs, and toy cars.
I am the queen of this kingdom, the finder of lost toys, the mender of boo-boos.
And beside me, atop his throne of Legos and coloring books, sits my perfect, tiny prince.
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My weekly response for Sonya’s Three Line Tales (Week 69) writing challenge. Photo by Carson Arias via Unsplash.

#3LineTales

Unmoored

Hello, friends. Ever since my most recent Three Line Tales response post, I’ve been thinking a lot. About… well, everything. About my future. Specifically, what I thought my future would be like by now. Cute house with a big yard, two kids, married, a good career doing something I love, maybe even a dog. Hell, I at least thought I’d have my license by now. Sadly, that is not the case. None of it is.

Strap in for yet another pity party, folks.

I’ve written a lot in the past about all of the what if questions that plague me on a daily basis, and although I always advise others to not dwell on past mistakes and decisions, I’ve always had a hard time taking my own advice. On pretty much everything. Don’t get me wrong, given the opportunity, I’d never travel back in time to change anything, because the outcome would be completely uncertain. I may never meet my fiance, or have my son. Hell, I could die. Who really knows?

I definitely don’t. The Butterfly Effect and all that.

I wouldn’t change anything, but there are so many things I wish I had done differently. Things I kick myself over every day. I wish I hadn’t taken so many people in my life for granted, specifically, my mom. I wish I had opened up to her more, and tried harder to keep the lines of communication open after I left home. I wish I had focused on school more. I wish I had focused more on myself, and what I needed in my life, instead of trying to please everyone around me. I wish I hadn’t pushed everyone in my life away to pursuit a brand new life with a boy I had never even met in person. I wish I had gone to one of the many universities that I had been accepted to, and not left the country with said boy to go to a school that I never wanted to go to. I wish I had saved more money from the numerous, dead-end jobs, so that I could pay off my debts that I still owe to said school. I wish I had been smarter about life in general.

Mostly, I just wish I had gotten to know myself better. I spent so much time and energy worrying about everything and everyone in my life, and trying to run from my problems, that I lost myself. While other kids around me were branching out, deciding what path they wanted to take in their future to better themselves and start their lives in the real world, I was running around in virtual, fantasy worlds. Sure, I applied to schools, and I got into them. But I had no plan. Even when I thought I had a plan, it was bullshit.

Everything about me was bullshit.

I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted. And now, I still don’t know who I am. I don’t know my strengths and weaknesses. I still don’t know what I want. I don’t even know how to take the steps to figure out what I want. I don’t know anything.

And now, as a 27 year old woman with no college degree, no real training of any kind, no connections, no money, no friends, and no particular set of skills, I feel lost. Completely and utterly lost. And I am barely keeping it together. Whenever anything feels like it is even remotely close to being within my grasp, it slips away. One step forward, ten steps back. Now, I feel like I am just floating through life, stuck frozen in time, even though I am getting older. I’m getting older at al what feels like an alarming rate, but I stay stuck in one place, watching everyone I know fly past me, collecting more achievements and successes than I could ever even dream of having for myself.

I feel like a failure. Every day. Like I’m nothing.

I hate feeling like this, and I hate that I’ve been feeling like this for as long as I have. I especially hate knowing that it is completely my fault that I’m in this dark place.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

Jan
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Unmoored