Daily Prompt 6/19/2016 | Wandering Aimlessly

Is this all there is for us?

[In response to The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt 6/19/2016 | Aimless]

Ten years ago, if you would have asked me where I saw myself in ten years, I would have given you a detailed rundown of my 26-year-old self. Married, with my Master’s in Psychology, working as a counselor in a high school, living in a four bedroom house, with a big back yard, a desk and a pool, two kids, a dog or two… you get the idea. When I was in high school, I had dreams. I had ambitions. I had drive.

Not so much these days.

After I graduated high school, moved out of my mom’s house, and moved to Canada to go to a university with my then boyfriend, I realized that the world was a much different place than the one I had been taught about, and I was woefully unprepared. The world didn’t care about my dreams, or my struggles to achieve them. The world just didn’t care. It still doesn’t.

I left the university after just one year, several thousand dollars in debt, and unable to find work to pay it off. I had to move back to the US, and struggled to find work. After months of searching, and living on my friends’ couch because I could not afford my own place, I found a job at McDonald’s. My first job. I was 19 years old, working with kids still in high school, and I was miserable. Despite working 40 hours a week, my entire paycheck went towards my share of the rent and bills, and literally nothing else.

Cut to over 7 years later, and this is still the case. I’ve spent my entire adult life, moving from dead end job to dead end job, always making minimum wage, and always struggling to make ends meet. I’ve never been able to save up money, I’ve never been able to go back to school, and I’ve moved around so many times that I have no stable group of friends or support group.

The dream that I had for my future self died as soon as I graduated, and the world just kept kicking me when I was down, and made sure that I never made dreams for myself again. So here I am, wandering aimlessly through life, feeling like I am going nowhere fast. Wondering if my little family and I will ever catch a break, and get the chance to do something to better our future.

Is this all there is for us?

Thanks for reading, friends.

Jan

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

Author: Super Jan

I'm just an introvert, trying to find where I fit in the world. Opinionated, slightly vulgar, and prone to crippling social anxiety. I am a casual gamer, retired podcaster, wannabe voice actor, newbie freelancer, Netflix binge-watcher, YouTube addict, and a mom just trying my best.

37 thoughts on “Daily Prompt 6/19/2016 | Wandering Aimlessly”

  2. I know how you feel hun. Ten years ago I was twenty two and had left University early but had a plan to work on. Somehow the plan hasn’t gone quite the way I wanted but after a few false starts I found my path again. To progress I have had to bend my personal rules a little but sometimes the ends justify the means.

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      5. Well during my student days I did theatre and in one of the plays I did a scene which started off as being a scene in my boxer shorts and then it was decided to do the scene nude and it was decided that I would reveal all to the audience. A few years later I was hired to do a “girl’s night” as a barman

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      15. Although, I don’t have the self-esteem to be even remotely unclothed in public. >_< So the odds of it happening to me are slim lol.

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      23. Well when doing the play when I undressed in rehearsal for the first time the director had a word with me afterwards and said “Nick I think you are a chap who should face the audience”

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