Daily Prompt 2/15/2016 | Working For Free

The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt 2/15/2016 | Money for Nothing

If you’re like most of us, you need to earn money by working for a living. Describe your ultimate job. If you’re in your dream job, tell us all about it — what is it that you love? What fulfills you? If you’re not in your dream job, describe for us what your ultimate job would be.”

My current job title is Super Mom… you may have also heard of the titles Stay-at-Home Mom, or SAHM. Those are the same thing. It’s a pretty demanding job, and includes early mornings, late nights, mandatory overtime, bio-hazardous waste cleanup, and being Chef de Cuisine, mastering the crafts of mac ‘n cheese, broccoli and cheese omelettes, and oatmeal. Did I mention that I perform these various tasks with absolutely no pay? It’s true. My bank account is about as empty as it comes. And I’m okay with that.

I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, and I even knew that I wanted to have my first child when I was 24 years old, which I did. However, I always thought that I would have had my degree, a house, and decent income by 24 years old as well… and that didn’t happen.

I went to school to study Psychology, something that I have been passionate about since elementary school. I planned to work with children and teenagers in a school setting, or even as a social worker for the state, but specifically for lower income families. Maybe even start my own practice, where people pay only what they can afford. Growing up, I had a hard life. Sure, it could have been worse, but it was hard for me. I dealt with divorce, abuse, poverty, and witnessing my mom’s abuse. It took it’s toll on me, and I ended up developing some severe self-esteem issues by the time I was in elementary school, which carried into middle school, where my grades started suffering, and I developed some self-abusive habits, which worsened as I entered high school. In high school, I made some choices that I wish I hadn’t, and let people take advantage of me. I also came very close to losing someone very close to me to suicide, who ended up making it through, but blamed me for it, and turned my friends against me.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because I want to share with you how helpless and alone I felt. My school did not have any qualified counselors that I could speak to, and I wasn’t close enough with any of my teachers to let them into my life. My mom did not have any sort of insurance, and even though she knew about my issues, she couldn’t afford to get me the help that I needed. I suffered in silence, and my relationships with everyone around me crumbled. I first attempted suicide at 15 years old, then again at 16. I survived, but what if I hadn’t?

I don’t know how my life would be different if I had gotten the help that I needed, and still need, but I feel like I would be more comfortable in my own skin, and would know a bit more about why I am the way I am, and feel the way I feel. Being a teenager is hard, and there is a lot more going on than most would lead you to know. It is important to talk about issues, otherwise they can eat you away from the inside. I needed someone to talk to during those years, and I had no one, and it damaged me. Lower income families, and the children within them, are especially susceptible to bullying, self-esteem issues, and abuse, and help for these kids is not always available, or affordable. I want to change that.

I’ve had a lot of setbacks with school, mostly financial, but I still hold onto that dream. I want to make a difference, to help people, and I truly believe that I will someday.

Thank you for reading, friends.

Jan

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Super Jan

I am an exceedingly average, 20-something female. Very opinionated, and slightly vulgar. I am a retired World of Warcraft player and podcaster, a Netflix binge-watcher, a YouTube addict, and stay-at-home mom to a tiny future superhero.

9 thoughts on “Daily Prompt 2/15/2016 | Working For Free”

  1. Jan, when you do get your education for the work you dream about, you’re going to find that almost everyone who is in this field has his own personal story of some sort of difficulty that has made him desire to help others. I had at bachelor’s, and I taught for a while. But when I was 50 I went back to school so I could do what I’m doing now–private practice counseling. It’s never too late. Your life experience will be one of your best teachers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I volunteer with TeenCentral.net counseling teens online. It’s all online and anonymous. Teens write in and then we give advice and guidance. It’s all monitored by licensed clinicians.

    It’s a great way to give back and I hope I’m making a difference!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I really admire your courage for sharing this.You’re one of a kind & I am so glad I am in your circle.This is the reason why I am grateful that just within a month of blogging here in WP,I have found REAL people. I feel you Jan. Not because I am a mother as well & just like you I’m going through the same routines. I feel you because I have human feelings too, that your feelings of loneliness & helplessness are totally relatable to me,& I am sure to many others too. Motherhood is totally rewarding & yet its also the time I have felt I am alone, my relationships have diminished since I become a Mother,but I guess, everyone just got their own priorities.

    I love the fact that you are not afraid to move on. Your writing is powerful because it gives inspiration & strength to those who felt the same as you. You don’t need any more title, because you are already a winner. You manage to be positive after all the things you’ve been through & I’m sure your kids would be so proud of you. Here’s hoping that you felt loved. Go Supermama, Go Superjan ! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Know what you mean. Some people are givers and others are takers. Sorry about u not being so lucky in friendship. Maybe your friendships have not been tested yet by a life-altering event. Look at the list of most generous countries online and holiday there. I go to Sri Lanka. Next time India.Sri Lanka is friendly and in my experience Portugal as well!

        Liked by 1 person

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