Thursday Stream of Consciousness #3

So, I’m currently watching three kiddos in my apartment, while everything in my life breaks and falls apart around me. My neighbor stopped by this morning before she left for work to ask if I could watch her kids for a few hours while her boyfriend was out, and I said yes, but I am already regretting it so much. I don’t know why I’m so damn nice sometimes. Especially after all the crap we’ve dealt with since they moved in. Just a few days ago I called the property manager to complain AGAIN about their nonstop noise and parties, and nothing is getting done about it. The other night, they were blasting music, and I was getting ready to go over there and say something, when the drunk cowboy upstairs came stumbling down the stairs, and started pounding on their door and screaming at them to turn it down. They complied, but picked it right back up the next day. Why the fuck can’t people just be respectful of the other people living around them? If it isn’t the constant music, it’s screaming, either at each other, or the kids. Or, you know, the kids running around and screaming at midnight. Or the constant smell of weed that fills our apartment building 24/7.

I like my neighbor for the most part. She seems nice, and she is a struggling, single mom, and is pregnant with her third kid, and I feel for her. But her boyfriend who lives with her is trouble. He’s the one responsible for all the noise, since he doesn’t work, and it always having people over when she’s at work. My property manager even let it slip that he isn’t even supposed to be living here, but didn’t tell me why. And I guess he’s been to a jail a few times since they moved in, and I had to watch the kids while she went to work since he wasn’t around. I want to be helpful, but even I have my limits. Her daughter is in Liam’s class, and we bring her to and from school since there is no bus right now, so I am pretty used to her sassy attitude, but her brother, who is a year-ish older, is on a whole other level. They both have a mouth on them, and it definitely has everything to do with the fact that we can hear their mom and her boyfriend shouting “Shut the fuck up!” and “Get the fuck away from me!” and “Stop being so stupid!” at them about 100 times a day, while letting them run around like animals, and not correcting their behavior. The little girl even taught the entire class, including my son, a racial slur a few weeks ago, so that’s been fun to deal with. It’s not their fault, because that’s how their parents are raising them, but good lord, it’s frustrating.

The three of them are currently destroying my house, and Kyle is trying to get some sleep, because since I started working this week, and Liam has been out of school due to the weather, he has been staying home with him, on top of working overnights. The older boy, who is 6 or so, has a freaking mouth on him. He keeps telling my son that he isn’t ALLOWED to play with his own toys, especially the “girl toys” (Liam has a few baby dolls, and some Shimmer and Shine toys he got for his birthday), because, “boys playing with girl toys is disgusting.” I told him that they were Liam’s toys, and he can play with whatever he wants, and this little brat rolled his eyes and said, “well, that’s stupid.” His sister even told me that she isn’t “allowed” to play with any of her brother’s toys because “girls can’t play with Spiderman.” How upsetting is that? What year is this?! He and his sister are always getting pissy with Liam because he has toys that they don’t have, and I’ve caught them trying to pocket his cars, and smaller toys, to take home with them. They also exclude him a lot when they are here, and it’s really frustrating. I’ve literally asked them to keep their voices down, and stop stomping around and screaming about 150 times in the last 30 minutes, but they do NOT listen to me.

The Polar Vortex has been happening here in Illinois for the past two days, and it is fucking cold. Really, really, really cold, and I hate it. I started my new job this week, and nearly didn’t make it in, or make it home, yesterday because our car wouldn’t start. Half the staff didn’t show up, and it was quite the day. I like my job, and I know I’ll like it even more once I get proper training and whatnot, but it’s been a bit of a shit show so far. My boss has been gone more often than not since I started, and I’ve just been getting passed around between the other girls in my department, and none of them know what to do with me. On top of this, I have no schedule, and no idea when I am going back in, because my boss is out with strep all week, and hasn’t made the schedule for next month yet. Like I said, kind of a mess. I really like my boss, and my co-workers, and I know I’ll like the job once I can get more training and all that… but, honestly, this week was not a great first impression of my new employer.

I also had an appointment to get my fingerprints done today, but I need a valid ID, and both my state ID and my passport are expired, and thanks to it being -50F outside (I’m not exaggerating, that’s literally how cold it has been for the last 48 hours), EVERYTHING is closed, including the DMV, so I can’t get my ID renewed. I had to reschedule my fingerprinting for tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully I can get to the DMV before then and get my ID done. I need to find a few things with my address on it, too, which might be a problem. Ugh. So frustrating. I have until Monday at the latest to get this all done, or else… I don’t know, no one has told me. But it needs to get done.

Liam hasn’t had school for nearly two weeks because of the snow and cold, and I am really hoping that he has school tomorrow, because it will be much warmer. That way, Kyle and I can get out and get all the shit done we weren’t able to do this week during the Vortex of Frozen Death. It’s finally going to be “warm” after this, and I am excited.

I was doing a load of laundry earlier, and halfway through the spin cycle, my washer started beeping loudly. I went to go check it out, and couldn’t figure out why it was doing it, so I just started it back up, and it started shooting water out of the back. I think the drain pipe froze or something. Of course, there is no heat or insulation in that room, and no outlets for mt to plug in our space heater, so I’ve just been bringing pots full of water to dump in the tub, and soaking the hall floors in the process. My hands are so raw and sore from wringing out all of the soaking wet clothes. At least the dryer still works, and it’ll be warmer tomorrow, but there’s no way I can get all the water out of the drum this way.

Yesterday, our battery died, thanks to the cold, and Kyle had to get a ride to get a new one. Then, the car wouldn’t start anyway, and he had to get a ride to work. In the process of changing out the battery, he broke something else, so now that needs to get replaced. When it rains, it fucking pours, man.

Now, the neighbor has picked up the other two kids (and, yes, I did have to chase the boy down because he tried to take off with Liam’s new Paw Patrol watch), and Liam is throwing the mother of all fits because I told him to clean up the HUGE mess they made while playing. He’s currently sitting in his room, screaming his head off, and I am about ready to throw all of his toys in the trash. I’m so fucking over this day. This entire week, actually. Fuck it all.

I’m hungry, I have to figure out this washing machine bullshit, I have to find mail with my name on it to renew my ID so I can keep my job, I need to clean the apartment, I need to finish two lessons for work that are due today… I am feeling very overwhelmed. I told Kyle when I started this job that I’m not going to tolerate doing 100% of the housework anymore. Even when I was working from home, I was still doing all the housework. No more. I clean up and take care of people all day long at work. I shouldn’t have to come home to a messy house at the end of the day, or ask 50 times to get something done, only to do it myself eventually, when he’s been home all day. Maybe that’s just this shitty attitude from this shitty week talking, but I am raising one son, not two. I don’t want to play mommy to a grown ass man anymore. Seriously, I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. And no matter how many times I bring it up, politely or otherwise, I get blown off. I am tired of feeling disrespected and unappreciated. It’s exhausting.

I’m fucking exhausted.

Anyway, off I go to keep my world from crumbling and catching on fire. Sorry, I didn’t mean for this to turn into such a bitch fest, but after this week, I needed to talk to someone (well, something). So, yeah.



Author: Super Jan

I am an exceedingly average humanoid who is trying to find where I fit in the world. Opinionated, slightly vulgar, and prone to crippling social anxiety. I am a gamer, retired podcaster, wannabe voice actor, newbie freelancer, Netflix binge-watcher, YouTube addict, and a mom just trying to do my best.

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