Dream Journal 8/7/17 | Surprise!

Kyle and I were eating lunch in a large, beautiful park with his older sister. The three of us were sitting at a wooden picnic table, and she casually mentioned that their younger sister, and her boyfriend, were on their way to Mexico. Continue reading Dream Journal 8/7/17 | Surprise!

Dream Journal 7/29/17 | Band

I was sitting in band class, clarinet in hand, waiting patiently as our teacher handed out some sheet music. He handed me my part, and immediately informed the class that we only had an hour to perfect and memorize the song, because we would be marching around the school in an hour, competing against other schools.

We ran through the song a few times, which sounded HORRIBLE, and he decided to inform me that he wanted me to have a solo, just as we were walking out the door. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, and he just ignored me.

We were in the hallway, standing as a group, between two other bands. They were both standing at attention, and were wearing matching, snazzy uniforms. We were all in jeans and t-shirts, and looked like terrified, jumpy animals. We began moving through the very large, very empty, hallways of the school, at more of a walking pace, rather than marching, as the group in front of us played through their song perfectly. As we passed by the gym, the first group broke off, and went in. Myself, and the clarinet player next to me, began to follow them into the gym, but one of them turned to us and shouted at us to leave.

We get back to our own band, and the teacher signaled for us to begin playing. It. Was. Bad. No one knew the song. At all. Then, he signaled to me to begin playing my solo, that I was somehow expected to know, and I looked down and realised that I no longer had my clarinet. He kept staring at me, and I started to panic. Then, the clarinet player to my left started playing something to break the silence. It was shaky and breathy, and didn’t sound like much of anything, but I appreciated her breaking the terrible silence.

We kept walking, even as the band behind us started playing, until my teacher pulled me aside. He told me that it was okay that I didn’t do my solo, because now he wanted me to do a new solo. A spoken solo. He said that we were going to act out some scene from a book about zoo animals, and that I was going to be reciting the park of a lion, who gives a motivational speech about going to war… or something. He pulled us all aside, out of the path of the other band, and handed out a bunch of children’s books. We flipped through the pages, all confused as hell, as he began reading to us.

My fellow clarinet playing friend and I started to read our parts, when we suddenly heard the sounds of a crowd screaming and cheering. They were chanting something, but I’m not sure what. Our teacher motioned for us to follow him down the hallway, back toward the gym…

And then I woke up.

Dream Journal 7/4/14 | Beach House

I was in a large, fancy beach house with several other people. I was a bit younger in age, maybe 20 years old, and I was wearing a pretty, floral dress, and my hair was pinned and curled. Continue reading Dream Journal 7/4/14 | Beach House

Dream Journal 3/2/17 | Chickens

I was walking down a winding, empty road, lined with green grass and trees. Beside me was a young woman, about the same age as me. We were both dressed for a day at the beach, wearing bathing suits, loose summer dresses, flip-flops, and large totes. We walked and chatted excitedly as we strolled along, talking about the weather, and the green fields, and our excitement over getting to swim finally.

The sound of footsteps from behind us made us stop walking, and we turned to see a tall, chubby farmer, who was carrying two hens. He greeted us, and told us he was walking to the campground just up the road. Apparently, that’s where we were headed as well, and he smiled and said he’d see us there. His pace sped up, and before we knew it, he had walked far enough ahead of us to be out of sight. A few moments later, we could hear the frantic sounds of chickens, and ran around a bend in the road, where we spotted the same farmer, chasing three hens in circles.

We helped the farmer scoop up the hens, but he kept angrily criticizing us, saying that we weren’t holding the chickens properly, and trying to readjust our arms. We ended up dropping the chickens. Then, we had to chase them up the road, until we reached the campground. There were two dogs fighting on the side of the road, and they stopped momentarily to chase after the chickens. My friend and I tried to catch the dogs, but the farmer kept yelling at us to catch the chickens, so we stopped, and just stood there watching the chaos, unsure of what to do.

A young girl ran up to us, bawling her eyes out, and told us that we had lost her chihuahua. I told her I hadn’t seen her chihuahua, but just then, a small, white animal (which was definitely NOT a chihuahua, it looked more like a guinea pig), ran through our legs, and under some steps nearby. I asked the little girl if that was her dog, and she punched my friend in the arm, and ran away.

The farmer was still yelling at us about his chickens, which had completely disappeared, along with the two dogs.

And then I woke up.

Dream Journal 3/2/17 | Will Smith

I was walking through a large store by myself, just browsing around in the women’s clothing section, when I saw a man pacing angrily through the aisles of greeting cards. The man was wearing a gray beanie, dark sunglasses, and a leather coat. He was shouting angrily about there being no one around to help him, and cursing under his breath. Despite him seeming slightly terrifying, I walked over to him and asked if he needed help looking for a specific card. I told him that I used to work in the store, and might be able to help him. He just stared at me for a few seconds before dramatically ripping off his sunglasses, and saying, “Get the fuck away from me.”

I stared for a moment, completely in shock. It was Will Smith. Will Smith was the man angrily pacing through the greeting card aisle. Will Smith had just cursed at me and told me to get away from him. I calmly asked him if he was sure he didn’t need any help, and he started hollering incoherently at me. I backed away and quickly retreated back to the women’s clothing section. I was shaking, and felt a strange mix of confusion and excitement. There was a girl nearby who was folding shirts on a table, and I walked over to her and told her that Will Smith was in the store. She got excited and said she wanted to say hello to him, but when I told her what happened, so said we had to warn the other employees.

We walked over to the Electronics department, where a really young guy was working at the counter. He literally only looked 12 or 13 years old. As we were telling him that Will Smith was in the store, Will Smith walked by, and before we could warn him that the guy was kind of an unstable jerk, he ran up to him, excitedly asking him to take a picture. Will Smith looked over at me and the other girl, and started shouting that I was stalking him, and that this was all my fault, and whatnot. I stood there, completely frozen, while security showed up to drag him away, still screaming obscenities in my direction.

Then, I was at home. I was sitting at my computer, and Facebook Messenger popped up. I didn’t know the person, but they sent me a link to an online blog, run by Will Smith. In his most recent blog post, he wrote a scathing article about how I was stalking him, and harassing him, and had gotten him removed from a store. He mentioned me by name, and there were pictures of me as well. I was horrified. I never told him my name, and how did he even get the pictures?

I read through the comments, and there were at least a dozen people with “Jan” or “Janise” (my name) in their screen names, all claiming to be me, and all saying horrible things, and making me look bad. There were links being posted to other blogs, social networks, and even YouTube, where people were pretending to be me. I tried writing a comment, apologising to Will Smith, and telling him this was all a huge misunderstanding, but as soon as I hit enter, I was flooded by horrible, mean replies. Most people thought I was another fake.

I started crying, and closed the blog post. Back on Facebook, I had another two dozen messages waiting for me, all from strangers, all with links to these other sites where people were pretending to be me. Trying to twist the situation, and tell “their side” of the story, trying to get attention. I clicked on a few of the YouTube links, and saw girls of every age, ethnicity, etc. impersonating me, making me look awful. It didn’t make any sense.

It went on like that for a while. Endless videos, endless tweets, endless blog posts, all people trying to garner attention for themselves, while destroying my good name.

After a while, I woke up.